Catherine Heyne

This was an embarrassment to the whole Jurassic franchise. They somehow managed to squeeze in every trope from the original in the most bastardised way, whilst seamlessly adding nothing to the story and exhausting the viewer’s sympathetic nervous system with endless underthought plot twists that by the end I was apathetic. Also gratuitous images of the animals (albeit CGI) suffering but hardly anything consequential for the perpetrators of the main plot violence. Also no blood? Like hardly any? A man gets ripped in half and didn’t so much as stain the driveway. Whichever boardroom of wannabe writers dreamed up this camel ought to go back to their day jobs. I’m just glad Richard Attenborough died before he had the chance to be coerced into this.

Does M. Night Shayamalan wanna take another go at this? Never have I seen a movie plot so badly in need of a remake since the first suicide squad.