Alan Zurvas

Dull, boring, confusing, pointless From the outset, we expected the phrase "I see dead people," and while the performances were good, the story was not. My partner and I turned to each other asking, "What did we just watch". This uncomfortable, slow, confusing snoozefest was a waste of time. SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS. there are 2 ludicrous story lines ineptly wound around each other, neither having a point. 1: Adam is inexplicably living in a high apartment block with no other occupants (because it is so new). At some point, Adam meets Harry in this otherwise empty highrise unit block, beginning a somewhat strange relationship. 2: Adam sees his dead parents 30 years after their fatal car crash. It starts with Adam seeing his (dead) dad in a shop, and at first it looks like the most awkward pickup in history, we eventually find ourselves at the home 30 years ago, or, now, who knows? Following that first meeting, we see several scenes ofAdam travelling by train to this childhood home that is still inhabited by his parents, a fact not immediately apparent. The point appears to be a coming-out story revisted. after several visits, including one with Harry, that story line ends with the mother (Claire Foy) telling him not to come bacl. Why, why, why? Back to the Harry story: After a few well executed sex scenes (over an excruiatingly long period) we reach the not-at-all-thrilling climax. Adam returns home after his final conversation with the ghosts of parents past, deciding to visit Harry on the way up. The lift stops at the 6th floor, Adam gets out, and as with the rest of the movie, the glacial story guides us through a hallway, to a front door which is unlocked, as if any city dweller leaves their front door unlocked. Harry's home is unkempt and you're left with the idea that Harry might be in bed with a random pickup, but no. Adam recoils from the smell as he opens the bedroom door and eventually see an empty vodka bottle and a hand that has begun to decay. Adam retreats to the lounge room to find (the ghost of?) Harry waiting. After Harry asks "am I in there?" they go together upstairs to Adams bedroom. The movie ends with the camera pulling up, and up, and up, until the couple laying in a pool of light on the bed, are stars in the sky. Was Harry ever really in Adam's arms or was he dead the whole time? Maybe, maybe not. Either way why set up a relationship with a vulnerable main character only to kill the love interest off? This is not the Game of Thrones! The whole story could have been told in 20 minutes. This was an appalling film saved by the actors. As other reviewers have mentioned, subtitles were needed through much of the dialogue. Yes, the film was dark and brooding, but like a sulky teen was best locked in another room

I hardly know where to start. The Very Excellent Mr Dundee, isn't. The occasional chuckle does not make up for abominable acting, dreadful directing, and a script so paper thin, that blowing your nose on it makes more sense. A series of B grade celeb cameos are strung together by an incomprehensible series of silly disasters, each painting Hoges in a poorer light. Some rely on daft race jokes, which are unfunny at the best of times, and the rest centre on a catatonic Hogan wandering robotically from scene to scene. It looked like none of them really wanted to be there. In another odd plot twist, Liz Windsor wants to give ol mate Paul, a knighthood. Ye Gads! Hogan has a fight with some kids, knocks out a nun, and wanders in to a black-actor awards night instead of an Olivia Newton-John event for wayward youth. Hogan's sexy on-screen son uses his bedroom as a nightclub, in yet another scene that looks to have been a favour to a friend. John Cleese plays himself driving an uber, and Chevy Chase pushes sauce bottles off a table. Just, why? God take me now. Hogan's car had been inexplicably nicked by a bogus valet at the beginning of the movie, only to be part the thrilling denouement. Hogan captures the thief by lobbing a can of beans 30 metres, and knocking the feckless felon to the ground. I could go in to more detail, but I risk permanent brain damage. When I say the end was thrilling, I mean, I was thrilled it was over.