Alex Jones

Michael Morbidius Morbistein IV did a performance today many will never forget. Certainly, not since 1945 was such a weight lifted from the world and even then, Sir Morbidium's knighthood in the third act made the back row of spider monkeys weep profusely and seek vengeance. One even attacked a small child who was too Morbed up to realise his face had been removed and relocated to another cinema. While the viewing cost me a hefty duty of Morbs, it was exceptional and a morberpiece which I would put on a plaque for all to see. I sincerely hope that Morbius 2, lock stock and two smoking Morbs (R18) is released soon. Without the studio announcing this, I genuinely fear for what those monkeys will do to the local neighbourhood.