Josh Mayer

As my life goes on, there is not a single day where I don’t reflect upon the cinematic masterpiece that is known to mankind as Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Like all seven billion of us on this planet, Paul Blart has made a huge impact on my personal life, and this masterful sequel outdoes itself. In 2009, we were shocked to see that The Godfather was no longer the greatest film of all time; Paul Blart: Mall Cop had taken its place. This is why we were all excited to hear that a sequel was being released in 2015, and it’s even better than the first one. So why, you may ask, WHY does Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 have just a 4.4 on IMDb and a 5% on Rotten Tomatoes? Well, my friends, the answer is more complicated than you can quite possibly imagine. You see, when Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 was released, billions of people gathered to the theater to feast our eyes in this cinematic masterpiece; and why wouldn’t we? It’s the sequel to what was the greatest film ever made! And I say WAS the greatest film ever made because Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 took over that position once it came out. Anyways, you can imagine it was quite exciting upon its release. But the film held a power that remains unknown to man; a dangerous one, too. You see, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 was SO GOOD, that it was killing people from its uncontrollable power! So mankind had an idea; in order to prevent Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’s power, we must make it look as if it’s REALLY, REALLY BAD. That way, if we do that, we can still enjoy the pure piece of cinema among the gods themselves that is known as Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and nobody would be harmed in the process. And so it happened. We made the film’s rating go down drastically, so much that my 5-star review will have no impact on the film’s overall rating. So I leave you with this, young ones: Enjoy Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 as you should. But be careful.

In 2006, Cars raced into theatres and immediately became a fan favorite based off its funny, heartwarming story that came with it without the need to include the cliché involving bad guys and good guys and fighting and all of that. It was just a great story with great meaning, and that's why everyone was psyched when they heard that Lightning McQueen would be zooming back onto the big screen for a sequel. However, Cars 2 didn't exactly meet anyone's expectations. Not even by a long shot. Cars 2 follows its previous film by nearly switching genres completely, by going from a heartwarming, tear-jerking story to a messy pile of secret agents and weapons. Although Pixar was clearly going for something that maybe older kids would enjoy, many were left confused and bewildered. This movie may have been okay if we didn't know how great its predecessor was, or maybe if it was distributed by any company other than Pixar, which is usually known to make you laugh, cry, and learn a lesson, but unfortunately things are the way they are and that's why this movie doesn't exactly follow up its first film as it should have. Follow my Letterboxd for more reviews, my account is joshmayer

Wow. That's all there is to say about Cars, the most UNDERRATED FILM in the history of Pixar. Right off the bat, many people were disappointed by this movie's "lack of story/emotion" or how it didn't show a "good enough lesson or message" to children. I'm going to be plain and simple right here: that opinion is wrong. Maybe if these people had actually watched and paid good attention to the film, the story and message are compelling to both children and adults, and of course the younger ones get to see their favorite Lightning McQueen in a big, exciting race. Except the way this movie develops this is done even better than many other Pixar films. When Lightning McQueen gets sidetracked all the way to Radiator Springs, he despises the town and its citizens, showing absolutely no care whatsoever as the only thing he wants is to get back to California for the big race. However, unlike most other Pixar films where the "annoying" characters are completely oblivious to the hate being shown (Russell in Up, Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story, or Syndrome at the beginning of The Incredibles), the citizens of Radiator Springs totally read Lightning's hate and obnoxious behavior. They hate him back. The only character who doesn't currently express hate is Mater. Mater is a lovable, funny sidekick who, like very few sidekicks, ends up being the most loved of all characters by bringing everyone together with his humor and joy. Not only does Lightning learn the lesson that the world doesn't center around him, but the rest of Radiator Springs learns not to judge based on first impressions. You could see the pure disgust that they expressed when they saw that McQueen was a snobby race car. But as the story progresses, they, too, begin to learn a lesson that there's more to Lightning McQueen than meets the eye, and that there's really more to everyone than meets the eye. The film has no main antagonist, besides Chick Hicks, who's just a snobby race car who, other than Lightning McQueen, has nothing more to him than meets the eye, displayed when he brags about his Piston Cup championship after crossing the finish line and paying no attention to the absolute damage that nearly killed one of the other racers and how McQueen stopped himself from winning to help "The King". What's appealing to the adults is the story of Radiator Springs and how the town's "end" really got to people. For some reason, this scene was very emotional to viewers and really explained the evolution of a town, something that is hardly touched upon. Kids and adults both will love this movie like no other movie before. I don't quite understand why it's not viewed as good as it really is, but that's beyond me. Actually, the film's message is perfect to its underrated situation; there's more than meets the eye. Follow my Letterboxd for more reviews, my account is joshmayer

*WARNING: SPOILERS* I am a huge horror movie fan so when I saw a new Jordan Peele flick was coming out, I was beyond excited. I loved Get Out, and I wanted to see what more Peele could do in the horror genre. Well, the sophomore curse didn't seem to affect Peele. His second movie was even more brilliant than the first. Us not only frightens, tells a great, clever story, but it even makes people laugh a bit. I love this because my favorite genre other than horror is comedy. You gotta expect some of that from Peele, who is, after all, a comedian. This movie not only did all of these things, but it made you think, which is always a great quality to have when writing horror. It not only tells a story of a family being attacked by themselves, literally, but it also symbolizes how we are our own worst enemy. The things that harm us are always, somehow, our own doing. That makes you think deeply, just like how Get Out did, and this is why I think Jordan Peele is one of the smartest people to make any sort of film in the past 30 years. The movie also did not have many jumpscares, which is good because it's not like many other horror movies. Brilliant horror like this brings true terror, not just terror from jumping 10 feet into the air from your seat. Of course, the movie has some jumpscares, but even these are timed perfectly. When you watch most horror movies today, you know exactly when the jump will happen, it's so predictable. Us actually put jumps in random places where you won't expect them, and I appreciate that. Finally, there are the twists. The fact that Lupita Nyong'o is actually her doppelganger, or as they call them, "tether", the entire time?? Brilliant. And it foreshadows this the entire movie, too. It's like right in front of your eyes but you miss it. You leave the theater without full information. Is her son, Jason, a tethered as well? There's a lot of evidence to prove it, but it's never confirmed. Way to make you think. Us is probably one of the greatest horror movies I've ever seen. I'm excited to see what else Peele can produce.

This is without a doubt one of the greatest movies I've ever seen in my life. It was purely terrifying with many hidden messages along the way, and it didn't rely on cheesy jump scares to stay scary as hell, no pun intended. ;)