Rachel Beam

Not awesome, but only slightly less entertaining than the amount of effort that went into some of the one-star reviews left by unreasonably angry viewers. (Y'all are amusing, but, seriously, leave Lili alone; she's been a national treasure since Say Anything.) Does it tie into the original storyline? Eh...about as much as Prom Night 2 had to do with Prom Night. It's about concept, though, not continuity; an homage to the decade's slasher films. The main issue I have is with the hair and makeup department dropping the ball. Big hair really was a big part of the latter half of the '80s, along with bright makeup (as unnatural as unnatural can be). Even if you can't get past that, it's still a fun ride.

Exactly how drunk was the director when this movie was cast??? The only good choices were Whoopi Goldberg as a midwife (onscreen for all of 60 seconds), and Danielle Brooks as Miss Sofia. Key elements were sacrificed for the sake of fantasy sequences. The timeline speeds up so fast after Albert throws Nettie out that the intensity of Celie's and Shug's friendship isn't even believable. Speaking of Shug, back to casting. That's not Shug! No disrespect to the actress, but she's not Shug! Watch her talk about the color purple for an example of the term 'scene chewing'. I am genuinely and alarmingly upset about this. My husband and I watched the original (for the hundredth time) right before we settled in for this travesty. I'm now re-watching the original in my head in order to cleanse my mental pallette. As curious as you might be to see it, I implore you, don't do that to yourself.