James King

Philosophy Of The World is an absolute masterpiece; truly the absolute pinnacle of musical composition throughout the entirety of human history. Every time I play this album, absolute joy and peace fill my mind, and I am reassured that no one can write such beautiful music as this triumphant trio. The lyricism consists of complete poetry better than the likes of John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Freddie Mercury, Elton John, and any other artists/groups. Personally, I cried tears of joy when I first heard "The little sports car was slippery as an oyster / Following it was like riding on a roller coaster" in the track "That Little Sports Car". For years, Dr. Dre and I have studied and done an extensive research to find words that rhymed with words that people thought were unrhymable. The word "oyster" was our most baffling and I forgot to mention, we have Harvard degrees. When I heard The Shaggs rhyme oyster with coaster, I completely recoiled into my chair then ran through the door and called Dre to inform him. Let's just say that we got hammered that night. When I first heard the strums of the guitar and that drum beat, I could tell that these people were top students from Berklee. Uncultured amateurs say that they are "off-beat", but obviously they're performing in polyrhythmic time signatures. It's a shame that these so-called "radio stations" never played any of their tracks, but it's understandable why. If they did, thousands of car crashes would occur as the soothing sound of the Shaggs would cause drivers to be distracted by such melodic tunes. Secondly, they love using demisemihemidemisemiquavers in their compositions. Their music and melodies are better than composers such as Mozart, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, and even Sir Frederick Durst, who is widely praised for his work with Limp Bizkit and known for brilliant pieces like "Break Stuff" and "Nookie". You know, The Shaggs are a brilliant example of why the music industry is full of phonies. If they blew up all the way back then, they would've extended the Woodstock Festival an entire day just so that they can perform and Jimi Hendrix would've never tried to upstage such talent. Their tours would've raked in millions and their albums would've gone octuple platinum each. It doesn't end there! Look at Saturday Night Live! They could've hosted for an entire season and had an entire episode of them just playing. Of course, we cannot forget about Live Aid. Forget Queen. With the Shaggs there, over a billion dollars would've been raised. Well, you get the point. Buy the album and join the millions of others who have changed their entire lives because of this work of art. And remember, it's not a mistake; it's a masterpiece.