John “CRITTER CAM” Sanchez

Saw the original masterpiece in 1979, followed by all the remaining and progressively more inferior franchise entries over the decades. This one failed to impress, but maybe because it panders too much to its past and fails to pursue any fresh or compelling storylines. The casting was predictable, given modern Hollywood sensibilities, but not inspired. If only those tricky aliens could do more than merely gnash their teeth or core skulls.

...do the math. These guys must be related to Sylvester Stallone to be in their late 70's (at least), in a jungle adventure far from civilization and still find opportunities to take their blood pressure meds and a slow pee every 45 minutes due to enlarged prostates...