charisardmegax

*Pyro laughing. Rocket noise. Explosion. Explosion.* Blue Heavy Weapons Guy: "POW" *Explosion. Sounds of meat hitting the floor.* *TITLE CARD!* (Meet the soldier) Soldier: "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" *Pause* "Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor." *Screams. Shotgun blast. Demoman Pain sounds. Explosion. Bullet impacts.* Soldier: "MAGGOTS!" *CRIT sound. Explosion* Sniper: "Right-o, Right-o!" Red Heavy Weapons Guy: "GO GO GO!" *Explosions and guns reving.* Soldier: "Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat and then he beat the crap out of every single one." Scout: "Sentry up there!" *Guns revving, sounds of battle.* *Explosion, engineer pain scream.* Blue Heavy Weapons Guy: *Laughter.* *CRIT Sound. Explosion. Weapon swap noise. Decloak. Metal ping.* Soldier: *Laughter.* "And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!" *Head splatting on ground after a pause.* *Team Fortress 2 Outro card.* Solder: "Unless it's a farm!"