Eli Schecter

I am at a complete loss how someone with two functioning eyes could consider Sinners a decent movie, much less a great movie as critics and reviews suggest. There was not a single redeeming moment during the plodding 2 and half hour runtime. First, Coogler’s screenplay is The Room level awful. The dialogue features ugly stock-phrases like “look who the cat dragged in” and other lazy writing tropes. There’s abrupt, bizarre 360 tonal shifts like when Hailee Stienfeld’s character is fondly reminiscing about cunnilingus when suddenly her voice drops and she says “I buried my momma yesterday”—um what? Speaking of Steinfeld, her accent was offensively terrible. It sounded like Kaitlin Olsen’s hammy Obama impression in Its Always Sunny. Glaring anachronisms pepper the dialogue leaving many scenes ruined. Most absurd was the 1930s Juke Joint where patrons twerk to a 90s era gold-chained DJ doing record scratches on a turntable. The plot is nonsensical with scenes seemingly patched together without any apparent direction. The first act meanders and slogs through visual cliches of the American South. Michael B Jordan is planning some sort of shindig is all the audience can gather. Suddenly the film becomes a vampire flick—a cheap, silly one at that. All the cliches of the genre merge together. There’s garlic and wooden stakes. Some lame shootouts. The vampires are then defeated by a tired Game of Thrones “Knight King” style dues ex machina, where the leader’s fall triggers a domino effect. The remaining vampires shriek at the sunlights touch, groundbreaking stuff. In Sinners final act, Coogler weirdly shoehorns the Klan into the plot. Klansman, absent nearly the whole movie, suddenly materialized in large numbers outside the Juke Joint. Michael B Jordan deals with them with Django Unchained theatrics. Lastly, Sinners is visually hideous. Extremely poorly lit scenes leave audiences straining to discern characters faces. The drab color palette and grading ruins the clearly expensive set pieces.

A horrid documentary documenting oblivious wealthy royals, and their abusive treatment of their own family. The constant self-pity and shameless PR hounding is difficult to watch.

Terrible film. Incoherent plot and tedious. After years of waiting we get a bizarre acne-scarred gardening enthusiast as a villain. The best gadget the writers could come up with is a fancy smart watch—a watch. The “new” 007 had zero redeeming qualities, not charming, funny, attractive or interesting. The car chases felt tired and the action had a video game quality that just looked silly. And lastly, the song in the opening credits was awful. Billie Eilish and Hans Zimmer delivered an absolute dud, with a flat melody and limp vocals. [spoiler] At the end I was genuinely relieved when Bond was incinerated by a missile