Gabriel Devienne

I never write reviews for anything ever, but this film was so abhorrently atrocious, I am compelled to warn anyone who doesn't chew on crayons to save their time and spend it on embracing a loved one out of appreciation in knowing they aren't watching this film. The first thing I wish to complain about is the story. An illiterate with parkinsons could have typed a better script. In a nutshell, a family dog gets a cartel style forced migration to the middle of nowhere because pitbulls aren't legal to own. The imagery doesn't always match a family friendly film so it jumps from a Disney film to a Breaking bad style situation, it is jarring as it is unintentionally painful to witness. The height of the tension in the film in my opinion is when the dog gets abducted by a homeless man in hopes the dog will generate a level of sympathy and thus wealth. Keeping in mind this is a children's film, the homeless man decides he is a complete failure and decides to tie himself to a tree deep in the woods, to lie down and die with the dog tied to him on a chain, within inches away from a life sustaining river. The dog bares witness to the death of a homeless man, and is forced to die with him. At the height of the tension, 2 young boys find the dog in the woods alongside the corpse of a homeless man. The boys release the dog out of shock horror and the dog runs away. Not only do the directors never mention this in the film again, they starve you of any reason to enjoy this film by immediately dropping the sub plot of 2 children getting their fingerprints on the deceased body of a homeless man in the woods to cut to further family friendly footage of a live dog running through the woods making friends with the soviet era style CGI animals. If you wish to view a better storyline with more consistent themes, I suggest you watch porn. The second concern I have is the awkwardly uber-Christian tone I felt through this film. Deriving any meaning or lesson for kids outside of the Christian lens in this film is like trying to pull teeth. Dogs are loyal? No wucking fay, perhaps the the uneventfulness of this film had given me psychosis (and if it didn't, I wish it had as it would be far more entertaining) but most human interactions this innocent yet traumatised dog has is without a shadow of a doubt divine intervention, causing an unholy equivalence between man and God. You heathenous swine, may your heads grow heavy from the dissapointment you have unleashed across anyone who bear the strength to sit through this hour and a half of hot garbage. There's this idea that the dog must always return to the original family that gave them up, regardless of how much better that any other family could give them out of the genuineness of their heart and good naturedness. If this is a lesson you wish to teach your kids, I am ecstatic to advise you that your children will experience horrors beyond your imagination grave enough to prepare them perfectly for Gaza. In a nutshell, if I were a rich man, I'd spend my fortune on building a time machine to turn back the clock and flying double kick my dad in the nuts to ensure I never exist to sit through this film ever again. This will likely not be the case, so I await on someone to take up a compensation case on my behalf and both my remaining braincells after watching this film.