Valerii Karma

So I've watched Avatar in the theater (that stank of mice), and I found it offensive not only to my olfactory senses but to my intellect as well. The plot of The Way Of Water is so watery I am not even going to apologize for the overly obvious nature of my pun. This story, it's so silly, I don't even... Well, sea (ha-ha) for yourselves: so the "Earth baddies" return to Pandora to get Sully for treason. Sure, they let slip somewhere that they also want to do some colonizing and terraforming, but seeing that in all the 14 hours of screen time they did exactly none of that, the whole colonization thing must be just a side quest to them. Somehow Sully realizes that all the hubbub is about him personally, so he says to his wife and kids "Hey, I got a great idea, since these angry earth dudes are after me, our presence here in this village is endangering the other other villagers, so let's all up and leave, and run and hide, and this way we shall PROTECT the village!" And guess what, his suddenly spineless wife, instead of shaming her sweetheart Toruk-Makto into calling the banners on all the tribes that he'd supposedly "unified", after a moment's hesitation she says "Sure, that's a splendid idea, I fully endorse it, let's do it at once." And they pack up out of there and leave their kindred behind for the earth baddies to stomp (because, remember - they are still colonizing the heck out of Pandora no matter what). The Sacred Tree, the ancestors' graves, their relatives who are about to get massacred: everything is abandoned -- we're running, babe! He was the Chief of the tribe, too, mind. "When danger reared its ugly head He bravely tucked his tail and fled Brave, brave, brave Sir Toruk-Makto!" So they go and instead of settling on some distant uninhabited island where no one can find them, they join another village, so they can endanger THEM with their presence instead, which is what ultimately happens. Of course, duh! After about a week-and-a-half of screen time of us watching them bond with the locals (who happen to speak Sully's tribe's language, how convenient, eh) and frolic in the waves and do synchronized swimming with sea-turtles and whales, the bad humans naturally catch up with Sully in his new tribe and turn everyone's life to sh*t. But instead of feeling an e-e-e-tsy bit annoyed with Sully's family for bringing the war with them, the water tribe is like "Yay, what joy! You are now our BRETHREN! In fact, we are so pleased with you, why don't you stay with us forever? Here's our underwater Sacred Tree, go pigtail-copulate with it to complete the ritual!" AND THEY DO. THE END. Yes, that is the story.