Chase Nester

The year is 2023. The world is torn. America is divided down the party line. In Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, world leaders send bright young men with hopeful futures to die on a battlefield. Third-world countries have limited access to basic healthcare. In times like these, it is fleeting and often in vain to find a movie that unites the people of this world. That movie was Cocaine Bear (2023). Imagine, if you will, a bear, an apex predator, one of the very same Ursus americanus species that inhabits our very own forests. Now picture this bear, but with a boost from one of the most potent and powerful drugs ever devised by man: methyl (1R,2R,3S,5S)-3- (benzoyloxy)-8-methyl-8-azabicyclo[3.2.1] octane-2-carboxylate. In layman’s terms, cocaine. I paid $16.30 to see a movie about a coked-up bear mauling people to death. I received a nail-biting mafia thriller, a detective comedy with feel-good characters, a touching story about the power of family, a beautiful tribute to the great late actor Ray Liotta, and a movie about a coked-up bear mauling people to death. Cocaine Bear is a masterpiece.