Zachary Kluckman

I love horror films, so I tend to be pretty forgiving, but this was an absolute waste of time. I predicted the ending about 3 minutes into the film, and frankly someone behind the camera could not decide whether they wanted to commit to either of the two explanations for the main characters motivations, resulting in an overdrawn and utterly incoherent final few minutes. The acting is...decent but certainly not enough to override the bad pacing, poor plotting, and entirely derivative script. Not the worst film you'll ever see but not really worth the time you'll lose watching it either.

Are you serious? Look, I admit I'm only two episodes into season 1, but this "paranormal investigator" who claims to have so much experience is either lying or his experience has been useless...two episodes in and I count at least 9 significant mistakes any semi-qualified investigator would have avoided. Aside from jumping to conclusions far too easily, doing sloppy research work and engaging in fairly wild speculation, the simple fact is what is happening here is not an investigation, but a full blown smoke show. This is the kind of show that discredits the good work real teams are doing out there by trying to manipulate the setting, the family and a bit of evidence to generate a demonic entity for the ratings. Add to that the fact that he keeps calling Class B or C recordings "Class A audio" (um, not the the case bud) and the fact that every time a bit of evidence begins to be collected he runs out of the place, and there's ample evidence - that he has, at best, a limited knowledge of what he's doing...and that part is scary, because people pretending to know what they are doing like this can cause real harm, intentional or not.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny~ man, what a blast. Filled with all of the elements that make an Indy film, while still acknowledging the passage of time and the realities of growing older. They did an amazing job of bringing the tones, action and atmosphere of the old films while still bringing it into more contemporary times (while still following the timeline). Full of metaphor, nuance and philosophical questioning, this is a great movie. And exactly what these films were meant to be - fun. Of course its going to polarize some audiences because you can't end a franchise without some people being upset it ended one way versus another, and some younger viewers may or may not appreciate it in the same way those of us who grew up with the character did, but for me, I enjoyed the hell out of it and I definitely recommend seeing it. And don't worry, if you were one of those who hated the Crystal Skulls ~ this is much, much better than that.

Ok, lets get right to it. First and foremost, this movie needs to come with a major trigger warning for suicide and trauma. Those who have had experiences with these events in their lives may not enjoy this one, and for good reason. Long story short - this was a solid movie, if not very original, with good acting and pacing and if they had stuck the landing they built into, rather than setting it up and then throwing it away for the obvious, inane ending we all knew was coming, it would have been one of my new favorites. To be fair, if you have seen the movie It Follows, then you have already seen this movie. Its damn near a note for note copy of that film, but with a darker and more violent vehicle to carry it - which would be fine if the pay off was worth it. Most of the movie is effectively creepy and balances suspense with walking the line necessary when discussing mental health - but here's the problem. Despite a genuinely creepy atmosphere, you will have guessed the ending about 3 minutes in. Worse yet, is the fact they gave us a damn good finale that I was not expecting, then throw it away for a bland, trendy, simpering and mostly offensive ending. Essentially, the message of this movie appears to be, if you have ever experienced trauma, you're screwed and you may as well give up. NOT a great message for those of us who have struggled with such feelings and especially irresponsible when so many fans of horror are survivors of trauma who find some comfort or escape in the genre normally. I hate when a good movie sells itself out to follow whatever weak trend is popular in Hollywood at the time, but if that's your thing then here you go.

This movie should be called "Karen". If you want to watch a movie where a horrible Karen runs around doing nothing but getting people killed, disrespecting every person of color she meets and basically being the worst person ever put on film, without ever learning anything or paying any real consequences (since she doesn't seem to care that her friends are dying), then you may enjoy this. Or if you're a wildly avid Trump fan. Then you'll really love this. I kept hoping this film was going to make a point about privilege or the dangers of entitlement or something, but if that was the intention at any time, it is lost completely here. Honestly an unendurable waste of time followed by like 10 minutes of inane freestyle rap that might be cute if it were coming from a 10 year old. Its a shame too, because the movie is progressively more deranged and had some great ideas, but it never really delivers on any of the elements that could have made it worth the watch. Go watch Tremors 47 or something, at least they'll make you laugh.

I try and write at least somewhat thoughtful reviews of movies even when I dislike them, but let me save you some time here. I wanted to like this one, and I tried. I did. But this film borrows so heavily from at least a dozen other movies, with no real sense of what they were going for that it is the worst thing a movie of this sort can be - boring. And I mean, 5 minutes in you already wish you were doing something else, and it does not get better for any of the full 2 hours it lasts (despite the DVD case saying it is 80 minutes?) Some elements of the film work well enough, (the only reason its not a one star review) but we can never invest in anyone or anything on screen enough for that to mean anything. An ambitious but poorly executed film. Pass.

I do not understand the positive reviews on this travesty. I love the first entry in this series and enjoyed the second but, quite honestly, this film is what would happen if the crew of Sesame Street got fired and decided to try their hand at horror. There are a few enjoyable moments (just barely) but the most boring, horribly dull, poorly acted and even more poorly constructed segment is the longest...and I mean it goes on, and on and on....I finally turned the movie off after an interminable amount of time in this segment - and I will watch almost anything to the end. I tried to take it as a "so bad its good" movie but I couldn't. The truth is, this is just a bad movie. Yes, I get what the filmmakers are trying to achieve but frankly, its a failure. Hugely disappointing.

Beautiful. Honestly just a beautiful film with some excellent performances (great cast, and the young actor playing the son is perfect!) Great atmosphere, great visuals and despite being a slow-burn, the pacing is damn near perfect. Literally the only thing keeping this from being 5 stars in my book is that it was categorized as a horror film. There is horror here, but not the kind most of your eager horror buffs looking for a bit of adrenaline will be expecting. And that hurts the film because it means the wrong audience is seeing it, at least in some cases. I suspect many people who would love this movie may never discover it because they billed it as horror and that's a shame. That may seem an overly picky reason to knock off a star, but it derailed my Friday Fright Night when I was in the mood for something else. Still, I encourage you to see this film, just know what you are getting into because it will pluck those old heart strings pretty hard.

A well-done film with some nicely tuned tension and well plotted storyline....until the end. Honestly, there is a lot to like about this movie, with beautiful settings, a relatively unique premise and some solid acting. All in all a good film that underdelivers in the final scene, and tanks the movie by wasting all of the foreshadowing and potential it had built up. If the filmmakers had ended this movie about 1 minute earlier it would be a much better film. Worth a watch for sure, but don't expect this to become your new favorite.

Someone hold my hair. This film is such garbage, I may actually be sick. The movie starts with a statement about how some urban legends are true - then proceeds to tell a story that has nothing to do with the urban legend it's apparently named for (except for a throw away nod at the very end that feels like it was added only because they realized they hadn't addressed it yet). Honestly, the film takes 45 minutes before anything of any note happens - which might be forgiven if that time was spent building character or atmosphere, but no - its just 45 minutes of 30 year olds trying to relive their glory days in high school. Yup, its just as pathetic as it sounds. Once the "action" begins, literally everything the characters do not only fails to make any sense, its like they were trying to find the most outrageously insipid thing they could do. They spend a bunch of time trying to figure out how to break into a house that all boarded up, only to show us at least 4 ways in and out of the house later that are completely clear. The main character drives a truck to the rescue in the end and the proceeds to walk back to the city when its all over. I mean, I don't think the scriptwriter actually remembered their own story. And we're not talking so bad its funny here, just so bad its insulting to the viewer. I dislike every character. Every "twist" can be seen coming a mile away. The killer wears a mask that i'm pretty sure my son wore for Halloween five years ago. I mean this is just awful. Get ready for 96(ish) minutes to feel like the longest three days you've ever spent doing something you didn't want to do. Or better yet, don't.