Jordan Pearce

From Dinesh D'souza, right wing fanatic and confirmation bias conspiracy theory addict. If you love your right wing politics being confirmed by a lunatic bankrolled by the GOP, you'll LOVE this absolute garbage dumpsterfire of an excuse for a movie.

A tasteless and surprisingly bland adaptation of Mignola's groundbreaking graphic novel series. Don't be fooled by some fans saying it's "more in line with the books" - it really isn't, and couldn't be further from it. While it has moments that will make fans say, "I think I remember that", these moments are often dragged down by shoddy exposition and ultimately we find they serve no purpose - Neither to the characters or the plot they attempt to drive. From mismatched casting and a strange fascination with CGI fight scenes set to softcore metal, weird plot developments that ultimately go nowhere to unintentionally laugh-out-loud moments (thank you, Milla Jovovitch's "head in a box" moment) and hanging omissions and plot contrivances, one almost feels that there could be more to this strung out mess... If only what was left made any sense. Granted, many fans of the Hellboy books often bring up a lack of narrative exposition in the books, and how devil-may-care the characters of Mignola's beloved series tend to be in the face of the supernatural - A characteristic some have mistaken to have been bestowed on this film. Alas, what could have been an intelligent, thought provoking and deeply investing film that says "weird stuff happens, deal with it" is often just as lost and confused as it pretends its audience to be. There's maybe one scene that feels fleshed out - ironically involving flesh torn asunder - that we're left wondering, "Were we just forced to endure an almost two hour trailer for three other films that haven't happened just to witness a 3 minute ode to gore porn scene?" Del Toro should have gotten his third film.