Chuck Johnson

One of the worst movies I have seen in years. Don’t waste your time on this movie, you will be disappointed. Read this terrible recap of a terrible movie and a save yourself a lot of time and anger. ***SPOILER WARNING SPOILER WARNING*** They want you to hate the main character (Marla) who preys on the elderly by putting them in nursing homes and taking control of all their money and assets because the elderly are unfit to take care of anything themselves. The family is also unfit to act as guardians due to their negligence. The doctor is in on it writing fake notes and so is the nursing home director who does whatever the hell Marla tells him to. Marla picks the wrong old lady to put in nursing home as she has Russian mob boss. Marla takes on the Russian mob who are too incompetent to get the old lady out of the nursing home legally or by force. Marla finally gets kidnaps by the mob boss and you think she is finally going to get what is coming to her, but strangely she only gets punched once. Then they chloroform Marla, pump her full of vadka and send her over a very small cliff into the water below. (The mob boss wanted it to look natural for some reason even though he buried someone else under a Jimmy John’s one time) Marla of course wakes up as the car goes over the cliff into the water. The car quickly fills with water a begins sinking. Marla spends the first five minutes under water undoing her seat belt. Then she spends another ten minutes kicking out the back windshield....you know, because kicking out the back windshield is clearly easiest way to get out of a car that is sinking to the bottom of a lake. After kicking out the back windshield magical works, she swims a solid fifty feet to the surface in shoes that look like they would sink faster than cinder blocks. I assume she survived all this because she a woman with a strong desire to be rich in a mans world. After saving her girlfriend, she single handedly ambushes the mob and drugs him. (Not going to lie, this is roughly the point where I started fast forwarding and watched most of the rest of the movie through the screen shots) The mob boss wakes up in the hospital and Marla is now his legal guardian, because you know, that’s how things usually work. She then places him in some care giving facility where she negotiated a boat load of money out of him in exchange for his freedom. (Worst mob boss ever by the way. His resources were a few people and endless money that he didn’t know how to use...) Marla then becomes rich and famous and gets everything she ever wanted. At the end of the movie (like 30 seconds left) Marla gets shot and killed in a way that looks like the writers are to trying to appease the audience that they just pissed off. Kind of like if someone punched you in the face and then expected a thank you because a week later they gave you half an ice cube to put on your swollen eye. It’s rather insulting how terrible this movie really is. First you hate the main character, then you hate all the characters, and by the end you just hate the movie entirely.