Lin Lin

My hatred for the little loser known as Simon Birch increased with every second I was forced to watch this doo doo water movie in my least favourite religion class. If I wasn't already an atheist before, this movie and especially Simon Birch would have made me one. According to my fellow sufferer friend, "this is my argument against the protestant reformation" The movie follows the "heart warming" story of two perverted and horny 12 year olds. Every time they breathe around a woman, they end up thinking about her boobs. You are 12. Chill. To make it even worse, Simon has a thing for his bestie's mom and views her sexually. Child of God my ass. Then Simon manages to kill his bestie's mom with a baseball and is too much of a coward to even show up to her funeral. Okay bro. After all this, his friend still manages to like his ass. Simon should've jumped when he had the chance. Our least favourite Christian Simon then proceeds to ruin a whole play because he got too horny and touches a girl's boobs. He gets told off by the pastor and suddenly the pastor is the bad guy and Simon is a hero. If your definition of hero is murderer and sexual offender then it works I guess. Overall, Simon is a character that makes you want to kill yourself. You couldn't pay me to watch this movie again. If you already hate Christians or are looking to become an atheist, this movie is for you.