Christina Hinks

Eech. This is like a soap opera for men. Impossible sequence of events, horrible writing, cheesy catch phrases, and dramaaaaaa! (Cue Roger from American Dad shaking a sheet of metal for effect) This film was written by 9 year old boys, filmed by 9 year old boys… to be enjoyed by… you guessed it… 9 year old boys. My favorite part was the car/helicopter nunchucks sequence, also known as car-qwon-do… and let’s not forget that “the fire made in my car is more powerful than the explosion 100 times bigger (that also happens to be roaring towards me) than my flame thrower sized rocket exhaust thingy!” Physics does not apply here. Time I can’t get back. But don’t worry, there’s a whole lot of male and female eye candy so you won’t be completely unaroused while you beg God to take your last breath from your lungs. Take my sight and hearing too, Lord!