Splarf Jiggyson

I can't believe this gets a higher score that 2021's Mortal Kombat, but as a practitioner of martial arts and a student of the history and culture behind the arts I practice, all the reviews of 4 or 5 stars have obviously never read the story of the 47 Ronin. Whatever the hell this piece of garbage is, it is most certainly NOT the 47 Ronin. Read a book - any version - and you'll understand why immediately. Personally, I recommend The 47 Ronin Story by John Allyn for English readers. Don't be a mindless consumer. Granted, enjoy the movie for whatever reason you wish, but don't ever falsely claim it does the story justice. It makes me sick that Keanu Reeves was a part of it. Shameful.

I love the world of Mortal Kombat. This is an adapted, different world. Similar - not the same. That's totally fine. Beautiful special effects that mostly feel right for the tone and percentage of realism aimed for. Half the movie's plot is brilliant. Scorpion and the original Sub-Zero are the best parts. However, the other half... Awkward, silly, feels like the old movies, which would be fine if it was done intentionally to be silly. It wasn't. The addition of "Cole Young" is just gross. The movie gets rushed about halfway through until the end. Having completed the movie before judging it, I can safely say that since it was clearly meant to set up a series of movies, it should have stuck to its guns and been a introduction movie with proper timing to, ya know, set things up. Some will say it did. I say it wasted half its screen time on a new, unnecessary character. It also handles its pre-established characters awkwardly. Half the time, you're getting introduced to a somewhat new version of the character, assuming the intent is that you don't need to know the game history to understand, and yet the other half of the time, you're just supposed to know the history. So... It leaves me asking, "Who was this made for?" Not a dedicated lore fan, obviously, and likely not a new fan either. Enjoyable, but... don't take it too seriously or expect too much. C movie at best, held back from its rushed pacing, unnecessary new characters, and worst of all... its mediocre handling of the logic of "powers" in Mortal Kombat. Spoiler warning, I guess... Why did Shang Tsung wait until then to "force grab" and steal Kung Lao's soul...? Why didn't he just do that from the beginning to, ya know, everyone? He can't? No idea because there's zero explanation, which would normally not be a problem, but the movie clearly tries to portray some real world realism into the plot. It doesn't work. I hope any following movie is better. More Scorpion and Sub-Zero plotlines. Johnny Cage will be great, I'm sure. No Cole Young. Let him die in the first 10 seconds of the sequel, please.