the life of me

i love barry so much. he honestly deserves alot better. his the most broken hitman character ive ever seen. i just know that he didnt chose to be a hitman but the actual reason why he did became one was he felt anger buliding up inside of him. his full of hatred. he wanted to feel loved. he wants someone to love him but no one did so he take his anger out by shooting people. barry deserve to be love. people keep on blaming him. no one trusted him. i really understand his character. the pain that this character went through. i could feel it. i relate to him alot. the numerous times i feel like hurting myself or anyone else but stopped. i keep on having these thoughts or i keep hearing things telling me to harm myself. sometimes i can overpower it but most of the times it overpowers me. i feel weak. i really wish someone wouldve paid more attention to me. maybe if they did i wouldnt have become the person i am today. im bipolaric. i dont understand why no one care or love me the way i want them to. they adore my sister so much that they forgot about me.