Sandra Miller

Picture this: It's a lazy Friday afternoon (October 11th, 2019, to be exact), and I'm sitting on my worn-out couch, surrounded by bags of Cheetos and an assortment of snacks that could feed an army. I'm binging Breaking Bad for the hundredth time, just soaking up all that meth-cooking goodness. And then it hits me: El Camino, the Breaking Bad movie, just came out on Netflix! Now, being the dedicated fan that I am, I decide to celebrate this momentous occasion by baking a batch of my famous "Blue Sky" cupcakes. I whip up a special blue frosting that looks eerily like Walter White's finest product. And, of course, I add a dash of my secret ingredient: a generous sprinkling of weed. Let's just say that these cupcakes have an extra kick. As the sun sets and the movie starts playing, I'm already on cloud nine. Jesse Pinkman is racing around in that iconic El Camino, and I'm right there with him, munching on my blue-frosted concoctions and laughing like a hyena. He's in agony the entire movie, and I just found it hilarious. But here's where things take a turn. In my euphoric state, I decide that I need to bring a little Breaking Bad magic to the real world. I mean, what's the harm, right? So, fueled by a mixture of Jesse Pinkman's reckless spirit and a hefty dose of THC, I grab blue spray paint, my trusty bike, throw on my leather jacket, and head out into the night. I start pedaling around the neighborhood, searching for a worthy crime to commit. You see, I'm a thrill-seeking lesbian with a heart of gold, so my criminal endeavors are purely for entertainment purposes. I'm not out to hurt anyone, just to create a little chaos – Breaking Bad style. After a few laps around the block, I spot the perfect opportunity. There it is, parked innocently on the side of the road: a beat-up RV, just begging to be transformed into a mobile meth lab. In a moment of pure madness, I hop off my bike, march up to the RV, and break in. I don't even care that it's probably someone's cherished family camper. I'm just lost in the moment, high on adrenaline and weed. Luckily for me, the keys were left inside the RV! I pulled my bike into the vehicle, shoved the keys into the ignition, and drove off to a random person's driveway. First things first, I had to decorate! Walter White made a mistake to not bedazzle his trailer. Everyone knows the first rule of cooking meth is to look good doing it! I grabbed a can of blue spray paint from my garage, and started to go to town! But as I'm busy leaving my mark on this unsuspecting RV, I hear a familiar siren wail in the distance. Panic courses through my veins as I realize that maybe this wasn't the best idea after all. I quickly drop the spray can, hop back on my bike, and pedal like my life depends on it – which, in that moment, it absolutely feels like it does. I zigzag through the streets, my heart pounding, and manage to lose the pursuing police car in a cloud of purple smoke. I can't help but giggle maniacally as I imagine the bewildered officers wondering how a middle-aged, weed-obsessed lesbian managed to escape their clutches. Finally, safe from the law and running on pure adrenaline, I pedal back home, my laughter echoing through the night. As I collapse on my couch, catching my breath, I realize that maybe I've taken my Breaking Bad fandom a little too far. But hey, who am I to resist the call of the wild when combined with a potent strain of cannabis?

Hi, I'm Sandra Miller, Proud Breaking Baddie, 2nd grade teacher, Lesbian, high as the empire state building. I've been a proud breaking baddie for years, when my sister Sandy Miller told me about this show, she told me that it was "Breaking Bad but in high school" I knew what I had to do. So, I began preparing for my Euphoria Journey which involved, getting Hella baked, locked myself in my basement and began. And Ay Caramba! This show is fantiddly-tastic! This show accurately represents the experience of getting high in high school. My family used to find this behavior strange/odd, but at this point they are used to me disappearing from society. My work also is used to this; however, they can't fire me because I am the only one who can teach these snot-nosed imbeciles. Once I finished the show I yearned for more, however the next season doesn't come out sometime in 2024, so I figured I would do it myself, and a visited a high school and got high in the bathroom. Unfortunately, they called security on me and i was escorted out.

I am a 2nd grade teacher, and i had a rough week, I tried to do a fun thing for them but like usual, they became obsessed with the activity and started a cult. This week really torn me down and all I wanted was to watch my favorite show Breaking Bad, but my sister Sandy Miller informed me of this wonderous tv show! She told me how Peter is a strong, fantastic father to his three children, Meg, Chris, and Stewie! I admire his relationship with Louis and wish i had a relationship like theirs, unfortunately as a 53-year-old lesbian with a breaking bad addiction the dating pool isn't very large. i locked myself in the basement and watched the whole show in a (What I thought was a) weekend. Turns out I had been in my basement for 2 weeks! I was so involved and absorbed into the first-class plot, and excellent ability to break the fourth wall that time lost its meaning, time didn't pass unless I was watching family guy. Due to my lack of responding to family, friends, work, and no longer appearing in society, my family held a funeral for me! They held the funeral at my house conveniently right when I finished this work of art of a tv show, so when emerged from my dark cave of solitude and family guy my family thought i rose from the dead! they all began sobbing once they saw me! although it appeared that they were not tears of happiness to see me alive, but tears of sadness. However, I don't care because I'm so high right now and living my best life :).

This is probably the best work of media I've every consumed. I cannot explain how utterly obsessed I am with this tv show and Better Call Saul. I've watched this tv show almost 13 times! and gets better every time! I like the think whoever runs our little world made this tv show as a special little gift for me because it came out on my birthday! I am a 2nd grade teacher and I've attempted to get this TV show taught in the school curriculum because it teaches the young kids all the important things we need to learn in life! Life is short, and drugs are FANTASTIC (I'm high right now!). Unfortunately, they denied my request right away!? They told me to not waste their time with such an idiotic request. I was enraged, how dare they call this WORK OF ART idiotic??!!?!? So i did what any reasonable person would do, and I threatened to finish what Jesse started and told them ill burn down their house. I mean they deserved it. No one is allowed to talk about Breaking Bad in such an offensive way. Anyways they said, "Okay grandma go take your meds." Apparently, I was in the psych ward and was talking to one of the nurses, I was so high I didn't even notice the difference! Haha. I asked why I was in here because I'm completely sane and just your average joe! Apparently i climbed on the roof of the school and recited the whole "I am the one who knocks" speech, it's such an inspiration speech and it was so impactful for its time. However, some people disagree and called 911 and I tried explaining my (completely rational) obsession to them, but they immediately threw me into the ward. 10/10!

Holy moly good golly! I've been an avid Breaking Baddie ever since the original show first came out, and I didn't expect this to be any good, as spinoffs are usually horrible. I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least. I sat on my couch, high as balls, just binge watching this godsend of a show. I don't think I ever got up to eat! I just continued watching until I watched every single second of every single episode. Once I completed the show, I took a break to eat a bunch of weed brownies before restarting it. I hadn't been to work in months! This show made me so captivated that I forgot I had a life outside watching BCS! My boss called me and told me that my 2nd graders have been wreaking havoc all over the school, and he said that I was fired! How was that my fault? These kids are little infuriating mini Skyler Whites, no one can fix that! I hired a hit man and got him to blow up my boss. Unfortunately, I got caught, and I'm writing this from jail right now. It's like I'm living in the world of Breaking Bad! Better yet, this jail is full of hot women that were also inspired by Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul!

I was way too high, and I completely forgot to create a lesson plan for my 2nd graders. My dog, Linda, spent the early morning devouring frozen sausages that she stole from my freezer, which gave me the perfect idea! I'd have my children watch Sausage Party! I've seen posters for this movie, but I had no idea what it was about, but I figured since it's animated, it'll be perfect for these little germ wads. I put on the movie, went to the bathroom, got high, and started re-watching Breaking Bad for the 11th time. When I got back to the classroom, it was like the kids hadn't moved an inch! They were all so entranced by the movie. When the movie ended, they all started chanting "SAUSAGE PARTY SAUSAGE PARTY", so I put the movie on again and left them be while I continued watching Breaking Bad. I woke up one night getting an abundance of calls from angry parents. Apparently, the children had been asking their dads to put their sausages in their mom's buns! I told the parents that it was not my fault their children were horrible creatures. The next day I woke up to thousands of sausages and hotdog buns on the roof of my house. Amazing how these parents could afford that! Good movie. Not as good as breaking bad.

As my dear friends and family know, I am an avid Breaking Bad enjoyer. It is my greatest pleasure in life to watch Breaking Bad while imagining I am Skyler White. However, I have binge watched all 5 seasons at least 20 times now. I have also watched binged all 6 seasons of Better Call Saul 10 times, and watched El Camino at least 60 times. I've been yearning for new material to watch, so my sister, Sandy, recommended I watch My Little Pony, as she claimed it's very similar to Breaking Bad, and she thought I would enjoy it. I must say, I am glad she showed me this television program! It brought me right back to the first time I watched Breaking Bad. Instead of fantasizing about being Skyler White, I am now believing I am Candace! These ponies quench my thirst just right. However, I am about halfway through, and I am wondering when the gore will come up? I understand that this entire world is a hallucination due to LSD, and I feel there should have been bloodshed and death by now! Shining Armor is my husbando.