Juliahna Schierloh

This movie ruined my life. I watched it with my grandpa, 79 years old. One of his last days on Earth WASTED to this bucket of hot bandaids thrown through a cesspool of rotten Chinese takeout with a “Ryan Reynolds” label slapped on at the end. It made no sense, was nonsensical, and didn’t make any sense. My grandpa said watching his friends die in the Korean War was more enjoyable than watching this movie. He said that out loud in the theatre and the entire audience clapped. That was the only applause during the entire movie. I don’t understand why the reviews for this movie are overwhelmingly positive—the last time I saw this many people lying was when I took a picture of my morbidly obese daughter after her dance recital and everyone on Facebook said she looked beautiful in her leotard. While watching this movie I endured all 6 stages of grief and a rare seventh one that made me projectile vomit in my Mazda upon realizing how downright destitute and hopeless the cast and crew of this movie had to be in order to not only contribute to this awful burnt fish mess of a film, but to then refrain from committing mass amounts of violent crimes upon its release. The world is in shambles and this movie proves it.