Lynch McCoon

Mr Brody produced this apparently and provided the music score so I'm assuming that means putting his own time and money into it as well as acting. The whole time watching it I had Tom Jones in the back of my head singing "Why, Why, Why...." This story has been done to death before and far better so why waste money on this? It's a mystery. A bigger mystery is how Mr Brody became a leading actor in the first place and selling Aftershave like a "Heart Throb" type. He could go head to head with Nicko McBrain from Iron Maiden for the title of "Most Ridiculous Nose."

This pile of excrement was recommended by an obviously vindictive friend of mine who found out I enjoyed Suicide Squad. As someone who never understood the appeal of "The Rock" and his stupid eyebrow lift I quickly felt a hatred for his character and himself. The constant floating around in mid air with that look on his face made me switch off after about 50mins. The premise is so preposterous that I'm shocked that more Black Africans weren't in it with their flying Pyramids.

If you like history with all its realistic guts and gore then this is for you. If, on the other hand, you wear a small silly hat, wave chickens above your head every year and refuse to accept your ancestors were and still are responsible for the banking institutions that destroy peoples lives to this day then this isn't for you.

I actually saw this movie twice within 24hrs. First time on a TV second time the next morning in the toilet after eating 2lb of spicy ribs washed down with 18 pints of rough Cider. Just read that Shannen Doherty was in it. I thought it was Janice Dickinson.

Big fan of Mel but this just didn't do it for me. Charlie Hunnams character gets punched (and frying panned) more times than Tyson Furys punchbag yet barely has a mark on him. There's better 'Who dunnits' out there.

Utter mess of a movie. Surely Daniel "Hairy Clopper" Radcliffe has enough Shekels in the tribal bank to give movie making a swerve. This is apparently a true story about a Jewish guy who survived 19 days or something in a South American jungle. Jewish as in the fact that the viewer is bashed over the head with a reminder every 15 minutes of his religion, probably to keep the viewer awake.

From the off I really wanted to enjoy this as the whole premise sounded great. Alas, it takes a ridiculous turn where the viewer isn't sure whether the movie is a metaphor for addiction, religion or both. The ending is a complete cop-out.

The same rubbish clichéd heist movie gimmicks with an unlikeable main character. The fact his name is spelled "Thom" is enough reason to be locked in a vault forever. Air duct and sewer grate fitters need to start using secure fixings or welding to thwart these pesky thieves for good.