Bill Bolton-Wade

Disjointed drivel from the beginning. It wants to be a Guy Ritchie film but ends up a confusing bucket of action with no characters worth investing your interest. Don't bother.

I never thought that I could find Rove McManus more annoying. Then he came onto the screens in 'Whovians'. Instead of a thoughtful discussion on the night's 'Dr Who' episode, he pushes his own weak humour down everybody's throat for the entire show. What's that? The Doctor put her finger in her nose? I know, I'll do the whole plug for the show with my finger up my nose! Instant laughs, no? No. Don't even get me started that he spoke over the theme music of the first episode.It was a new theme, it wasn't at the start of the episode, so any mildly serious Doctor Who fan (or Whovian) would probably want to hear it, uninterrupted. Then, a couple of weeks later, he even poked fun at the fans (his audience) by talking over the music after saying "I know you hate me talking over the music". Hilarious? No. Whovians? No. Rove McManus? NO! Get off the television and go back to America and Trump, you dill.

The jokes were poorly delivered. The characters barely get time on screen to explain any of their motivation. It feels mostly pointless and the best bit of the film comes after the credits start rolling. Problem is, even that wasn't very well done. It isn't poor enough to make you walk out but if you can wait until it streams, you'll feel better. This zombie has been rotting too long. 2 out of 5

What rubbish. The writing is laughable, fight scenes unbelievable and familiar characters that shouldn't be meeting are being thrown in just to attract audiences. In Vader's case, his appearances are absolutely laughable as the audience knows he and Obi-Wan's battles will come to nothing, rendering him essentially impotent every time he appears. This is the Frankenstein's monster of Star Wars. The series has simply stitched a show together using the limp limbs of fan favourites. It has all the emotional awareness that results from creating a creature with no soul.

It's pretty awful. From the ridiculously drawn-out story of his escape from the Sarlaac, the poor dialogue to the farcical fight scenes. This appears ill-thought through and Boba seems to lack conviction in anything he does. Poorly written, directed, choreographed and acted. Disney is just cashing in on the character name.

The doe-eyed grand daughter is a ridiculous addition. She and the stenographer bring nothing to the show, other than to demonstrate that Judy really doesn't care what people think and will give family a leg up for no reason. If this was a case of hers, she would chastise the grandmother for coddling the girl. Retire gracefully Judy, even if it is a little late.

The only sequence worth watching in this film was the flashback to young Diana. The rest of the film is just awful. I haven't seen a sequel this bad since Superman 4: the Quest for Peace. The 80's shopping mall sequence was so bad, it felt like they got the writers (and actors) from an episode of Captain Planet. Avoid.

Pablo Schreiber is quite weak in the main role. Despite the deliberate choice to remove the character's helmet in the first episode, it seems he manages to convey less emotion than with it on. His wooden performance is distracting and detracts from any of the shows strengths.

Watchable but not a patch on Hill House. We kept waiting for it to get scary. "They're really building the tension here", I told my wife but we got to the end and never got the pay off.

How cool were the first two episodes? Then the complete travesty of a third episode went and ruined the entire thing. These guys just don't know how to finish a story. The ridiculous ending just crapped all over a century of vampire stories. Seriously, this ending was worse than sparkling vampires. Moffatt and Gattis need to stop writing as if they're better than everybody else and start entertaining people. Worth watching eps 1 and 2 but stop there.