Ryan Light

Oh boy, where do I even begin with "When the Emperor Was Divine"? If you're a fan of gripping space battles and epic intergalactic showdowns like those in Star Trek or Star Wars, brace yourself—this book is more like watching paint dry on the holodeck while a Jawa tries to sell you second-hand droids. OOOOOO. Firstly, let’s talk about the plot. Or rather, the lack thereof. The story drags slower than a Gungan attempting to explain quantum mechanics. I kept waiting for some kind of twist or climax that would make me go, “BWABWA! Now that’s what I’m talking about!” But nope, nothing. Instead, it’s a monotonous recount of mundane events that barely hold a flicker of interest. The pacing is more sluggish than a Star Destroyer in reverse. The characters? Well, they have about as much depth as a cardboard cutout of a Stormtrooper. They go through the motions, sure, but where’s the emotional punch? Where’s the internal struggle that makes you feel like you’re right there with them, battling the dark side or exploring new worlds? It’s like the author took the personality of a Tribble and stretched it thin across all the characters. OOOOOO. And don’t get me started on the writing style. The prose is as dry as the deserts of Tatooine. It lacks the poetic flair of a Klingon opera or the captivating complexity of Yoda’s syntax. Instead, it’s a straightforward narrative that feels more like reading a malfunctioning datapad than an engaging story. I kept hoping for some linguistic fireworks, but all I got was a dull monotone that put me to sleep faster than a Vulcan nerve pinch. Even the setting, which had the potential to be a rich, historical backdrop, falls flat. It’s as if the author used the holodeck to generate a bland, uninspired version of 1940s America with none of the cultural or emotional richness you’d expect. There’s no sense of adventure or exploration, just a repetitive, dreary landscape that makes you long for the lush, varied worlds of Endor or the vibrant cityscapes of Coruscant. BWABWA. In short, if you’re looking for a book that will transport you to new realms and make you feel like a part of something grand and epic, keep searching. "When the Emperor Was Divine" is a snooze-fest that lacks the energy and excitement of the best sci-fi adventures. Save your credits and spend them on something with a bit more warp speed. OOOOOO.