In middle school, my nickname was "Opie." It sounds cool at first—until you realize it’s short for Ethiopian. The thing is, I grew up in Butler, PA, home of the Bantam Jeep, a 98% white population, and the recent Trump assassination attempt. As a tan-skinned kid, I stood out. When I tried to correct the bullies by telling them I wasn’t Ethiopian but Thai, they demanded I speak Taiwanese to prove it. When I tried to correct them again, well… I decided to find solace and safety in things like emo and pop-punk music, skateboarding, and art.
I loved—and still love—bands like Hellogoodbye and The Starting Line. My AIM screen name was “hiddencinema,” I discovered synthesizers through Motion City Soundtrack, blacked out the pink tag on my stepsister’s hand-me-down Keds with a Sharpie, spent summers getting skate “clips” with the few friends I had, agonized over my MySpace Top 8, and made plenty of cringe-worthy decisions just to look cool in front of my crushes.
So when I saw Dìdi, a film about an impressionable 13-year-old Taiwanese American in 2008 who went through nearly the same experiences—even down to the music and clothes—it hit me. I’ve never felt so seen by a film before. It’s about feeling torn between your Asian identity and being "just half," deciding whether to go by your given name or embrace a nickname, and the awkwardness, loneliness, and sense of being an outcast and a phony while also discovering who you really are.
In Dìdi, Chris, or "Wang Wang," learns how to skate, flirt, and love his family. But ultimately, he discovers it’s much harder to pretend to be something you’re not and far more rewarding to embrace who you truly are. This film reminded me that twenty years later, I’m still learning to embrace myself—and it reminded me to love those who accept me, even if they don’t understand me.