Flint Rogers

Beef, caramelized onion and ale pie Ingredients 25g plain flour 1kg braising steak, such as chuck or blade, cut into bite-size chunks 5 tbsp sunflower oil 25g butter 225g small chestnut mushrooms, wiped clean 2 onions, halved and sliced 1 tbsp sugar 4 garlic cloves, crushed 300ml good-quality beef stock 300ml brown ale 1 tsp tomato purée Leaves from 3 sprigs fresh thyme 3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce For the mustard suet crust 350g self-raising flour, plus extra for dusting 1 tbsp English mustard powder 1 tsp salt 175g shredded beef suet 1 medium egg yolk, beaten Method Make the suet pastry. Sift the flour, mustard powder and salt into a bowl and stir in the shredded suet. Stir in 250ml cold water to make a soft dough. Wrap in cling film and chill. To make the pie filling, season the flour, put into a bowl with the beef and toss well until all the meat is coated. Shake off the excess flour and reserve. Heat 3 tablespoons oil in a flameproof casserole, add half the beef and fry over a high heat until browned all over. Lift onto a plate and repeat with the rest of the beef. Set aside. Add half the butter and all the mushrooms to the pan and fry briskly over a high heat for 2 minutes. Set aside with the beef. Add the rest of the oil to the casserole with the onions and sugar, and cook over a medium-high heat for 20-30 minutes, stirring frequently, until caramelised. Add the rest of the butter and garlic, and cook for 1 minute. Stir the reserved flour into the onions, followed by the stock, ale, tomato purée, thyme leaves and Worcestershire sauce. Bring to the boil, stirring, then return the beef and mushrooms to the pan, season, partially cover, and simmer for 11/2 hours, or until the beef is tender and the sauce has reduced and thickened. Preheat the oven to 220°C/fan200°C/gas 7. Spoon the mixture into a deep 2-litre oval pie dish. Push a pie funnel or piping nozzle into the centre. Unwrap the pastry and roll it out on a lightly floured surface into a disc slightly larger than the top of the dish. Cut off a thin strip from the edge, brush with a little water and press onto the rim of the dish. Brush with more water. Cut a small cross in the centre of the pastry and lay over the dish so that the pie funnel or nozzle pokes through. Seal the pastry edges, trim away the overhanging pastry, then crimp the edges. Brush the pastry lid with the beaten egg yolk mixed with a little water. Bake for 30-35 minutes, until the pastry is crisp and golden-brown.

This movie was incredibly dissapointing, my expectations were very high but the lacklustre cast failed to make an impact on multiple levels, the camera shots were sloppy and the plot was tired, it was also in another language which made it hard to understand.

I would rather go down a playground slide fashioned as a giant cheese grater with lemon juice in my eyes and a howler monkey biting my neck then sit though this trainwreck of a movie.