Jeff Foster

To enjoy this movie is to shun the creator. Ayiyiiiiii Imagine spending years of your life creating something that gets fucking shafted to its core. I know how easy it is to watch a movie. And I love films. But this is child abuse. It’s a dog locked in a hot car. It’s sacrilege and a fucking foul attempt at encompassing the splendor of the book. Please read the book. If you liked the movie (couldn’t bear to call it a film) please do yourself and this stories creator the honor of reading the original. The author, and most importantly, the audience deserve the book. The movie is McDonalds up against a chef.

If you, like me, would assign se7en and fight club an 8 or a 9 or a 10/10 ranking for grit, originality, cadence and vision. Then “the killer” is a 1, or a 2 or maybe with a gun to my head….a 3. I was bored. Utterly bored to the point that started feeling bad I’d recommended this to people prior to watching it myself. If you’re the kind of person that enjoys prolonged queues, lengthy dental appointments, or thinks “the hurt locker” is a pretty decent war flick…. Then here is your magnum opus. If I hadn’t known who directed this I’d be accusing some jerk imposter of using a David fincher filter to make a bad movie. Le sigh, at least I didn’t waste any gas driving to the theater.

Be warned: the sound of ezra millers voice is (initially) comical. Maybe it’s part of his character arc, you may wonder….alas…the noise graduates to full blown unpalatable black char, as it remains at a frequency high enough to down a spy plane. Turns out that in addition to being the kind of guy that assaults women, he has the voice of an auto tuned chipmunk. Maybes it’s the universe serving up justice for being the human he is…but whatever it is….it’s god awful. Every other element of the movie was great. Would you buy fantastic car with a soggy paper plate for the steering wheel? Hopefully not.