Benjamin Kappler

Had potential but with so many unlikable characters, watching became more painful than anything. A lawyer is somehow too dumb to use a wet cloth as an oven mitt to remove a pot of boiling water from the fire? So instead she builds a completely new fire next to the old fire then puts out the old fire. Frustratingly stupid. If the stupid survival choices weren't frustrating enough, the 120 minutes of hallucination footage should have been enough for me to watch something else. But I watched it. Dumb ending and all. Mama didn't raise no quitter. Poor writing. Poor acting. For those rating this a 5/5 I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm fairly open minded about shows but this one did not connect with me.

It's 2023 and I just now heard of this movie and dedicated 31 minutes of my afternoon for this brilliant masterpiece. As a joke my friend sent this youtube link over to me with the movie. I knew it was going to be great because there was only 1 5-second ad in the beginning and no other ads scheduled to interrupt my viewing experience. After about 5 seconds into the movie I was in love. I'm still laughing over the clever pun of "Tank you" and he hits the 2 soldiers with a tank. Oh sorry, **Spoiler Alert** Also, "Tricericop?? Brilliant! Anyway, I don't want to spoil any more of the movie. You just going to have to see it. You won't be disappointed.

Don't waste your hard-earned dollars and 3 hours of your life on Oppenheimer. VelociPastor proves that with a Sanyo Betamovie VRC100 and a budget of $50 cinematic magic can be made. The VelociPastor franchise will continue to be a middle finger to Hollywood trainwrecks such as Avatar, Avenger's: Endgame, and Titanic far into my golden years. Don't read any of the 1 star reviews as these were likely paid pro-Hollywood sell outs. A tip for the viewers: you may need to see the movie a second time to catch all of the highly cerebral plot points. Also, I was sad to be informed there were not actually any velociraptors in the movie and that they were all special effects. Knowing this information sooner could have saved my marriage but that's a whole other story altogether.