Stanley Oleska

Dear Dr. Phil, I watched an episode today regarding the issues of married couples sharing household chores. It depicts the men as deadbeats and lazy. This is pathetic at best. You failed to point out that the husbands are out working 40-50+ hrs a week providing for the family. True, the chores are a negotiable window that never closes and shouldn't be, I agree. However, you gave no respect to these men and thousands like them. My issue is this, I look at our past history as humans evolved over time. We as a society used to have certain roles as men & women husband and wives. Tradition used to be, the men went out and worked a job, got paid and worked the farm and or garden, and the women raised the children and kept a clean house and had dinner ready so to speak. Side note, back in the day, if the husband/father didn't work nor provide for the family, He was a deadbeat and looked down upon and even ridiculed by the community. Same as the women/wife/mother, if she didn't take care of the children, the house, food prep, clean clothes, etc. she was considered a deadbeat or an unfit mother. True, times have changed and the men/ women husbands/wives roles have changed since the women's rights movement back in the 40's & 50's. However, I look at the indigenous people around the world. If you do any kind of studies you will find that the tribes and indigenous peoples still have gender specific roles. Women take care of raising the children, cooking the food, etc. While, the men are out gathering the food, protecting the women & children from the dangers of the their geographical areas...ie. other tribes attacking and stealing food and territory, protecting the family from predators two & four legged, building shelter and living quarters. My main point is this, even indigenous peoples. Like Native American Indians, the Yanomami tribes in the Amazon, the Inuit Indians of Alaska and so on, still to this day have gender specific roles. The men of these peoples would never let the women do manly things such as hunting, and or protecting the women & children, and the women would never allow the men to raise the children. This issue has become a "societal problem". Since the women rights movement, women are expecting the men to do "more" womanly things around the house, but the men haven't changed. A real man does not expect women to the manly things. Finally, in my opinion, women have changed and are demanding the man to help do their duties that women have been doing since humans stood upright.