Rae Andresen

Yikes. I went into this movie truly excited and ready to like it, but it was pure cringe across the board. I'm not even familiar with the book, but I'd guess it has to be far better than whatever this is. This movie is badly written, plot holes everywhere. Poorly edited with transitions that watched like a film school freshman's first youtube project. The acting might have been good if the script hadn't been so pathetically written that the characters routinely turn to each other and explain to you what you're seeing like a vintage Scooby Doo cartoon. But that's an insult to Scooby Doo. At least their episodes made sense. It's truly an astonishing feat that Burton managed to mangle this movie into such an abysmal mess because the subject matter had so much potential. I don't know how he tanked it this bad but wow was that difficult to sit through. And that's coming from a man who actually liked Dark Shadows. This movie makes Dark Shadows look like Hamlet.