Moof 735

Before watching this film I had nothing to my name. I was a poor man. Alone and depressed. I was a shmuck. My family had disowned me. I had no friends. And I slept inside of large shoes I able to fit my body into. Then I watched this movie. I saw the cheat code to life. I sat there the entire movie. Not blinking. My eyes watered as I watched this masterpiece of a film unfold before my eyes. I wanted no more in life. I was content. Now I am a millionaire. I have 8 wives, 12 girlfriends, and 22 side chicks. I own every car. The car you have. Own it. The car your grandma drives. Own it. The car my priest drives. Own it. I am so rich. And happy. Thank you Garfield, you made a man stronger and better. I love you, you are my lord. You, are my savior. Thank you.