Max Williamson

This movie is awful. I entered fully aware it would have been an interpretation of the source but there are so many reasons it's terrible, I made notes as we went through: Laughably bad script, we were cackling out loud at bits that just weren't supposed to be funny. Cringe worthy acting, you can tell the actors have only been on stage, they're Disney kids. A story that decided to cram 2 books and some made up maguffin bs. The first Artemis Fowl book is about a near emotionless, calculating child villain and in that way is incredibly unique, they ditched this hyper intelligent boy who's many steps ahead for an Incredibly disneyfied character, who surfs and oneeheel's, runs around alot, shouts "dad" far too much, arguing with another kid with dad issues. The action scenes which should have been displays of skill and wit were badly cut CGI feats with lots of children screaming and saying "take the shot" and "I got this". No peril whatsoever. And god the soundtrack is so awful. It's like a compilation of all the awful, supposedly emotional, surging Disney tracks that drive you up the wall. A narrator as if every audience member is 4 year old. Jeez the neighs. Don't watch this. If you can, re-make it.