Asin Thomas

It was the 26th of March in 2020....I remember it clearly. The darkest day of my life. My dog had just been run over by my dads sisters godmothers granddaughters son, Reginald. I fell into deep depression, there was no hope of survival in this dark dark world. Then, when I was on the brink of death...my children cast me away to the local KFC. They were unable to bare the sight of my despaired face, which reminded them of when my twin brother pushed their mother (my wife) into the well. That's when I heard of..."THE GAME THAT CURES LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION: I LOVE YOU COLONEL SANDERS!". When I heard of this game, I questioned myself. "Can I really be cured? Just by some game?". Little did I know, I had DEEPLY underestimated the power of Sanders-kun. The answer to the question was... NO. This game did not cure me, instead...I've been diagnosed with AN ADDICTION WITH COLONEL SANDERS!!! To be honest, I have NEVER been happier in my life. Although I may still be sick, my depression is cured and I now go to KFC everyday. Part of my daily routine is to go there and kiss every picture of Sanders that there is. Now, I also realise that the love for my wife was never true...she did not have the abs of colonel sanders , but instead, the flabs of my unfit neighbour, Jimmy Manders. It should be known that this game is finger lickin SEGSY and has also put me in a rehabilitation and psychiatric centre where I reunited with my beloved brother who thankfully pushed my wife into the well, kidnapped my kids, and may be plotting to kill me next. Thank you so much Colonel sanders, I love you!