Go Vegan

It’s been a long wait for the latest season of black mirror, and well this season is nothing short of lame, tame and unoriginal. The production may of received a bigger budget, and not quite a-list actors brought in but the story power has dropped considerably from season to season. This season’s first three episodes fall short of delivering anything close to shock or the unexpected. I won’t get into each episode as all three are equally bad, but hope that the show returns to its darker premise and clever twists. Miley Cyrus. Please.

Ok, here it comes. It wasn’t a great horror/suspense flick as some reviewers below have called it. It tried, I’ll give it that, but no. It was mediocre with a ton of plot holes, odd and unnecessary scenes and not well scripted. It was in essence a revenge movie. Girl goes to implausible measures to seek revenge on a teen-sex-cello-cult that she walked away from and spent the next decade plotting. Like extreme and unpredictable measures. So unbelievable they had to rewind actual scenes to show what happened to the viewer to make it somehow convincing? Not once, but three times. When all she could of done in the first 10 min into the movie when confronting the couple that raped her in her teens for messing up a note in cello practice have killed them. Instead she embarks on her plan to use another innocent and victimized student to seek justice. So in the genre of great horror/suspense movies that deserved to be called classics, let’s forget this one altogether and give it the 1 or 2 stars it deserves for an attempt at shocking rather than crafting something memorable. Sorry.

Somewhat flat and overly dramatic for what could of been an interesting take on post alien aftermath and a group of rebellion humans who aren’t down with the dystopia state of...imprisonment? Goodman isn’t the best choice for the detective and the kid who plays Gabrielle is just not worth the price of the one acting class he missed. All seems rather clumsy and disjointed. The aliens come across as, well unintelligent. Sea urchins somewhat interested in detective work. Not a terrible movie, just doesn’t pull together well enough to fill the gaps to have been better. Take it this will have a sequel...

Certainly lacks the charm, look and depth that Ron Pearlman brought to the character. This dumpy, hairy and humorless version of Hellboy mutters along without any real connection to the background story of ghouls and monsters that pop up all looking for a little revenge of sorts. Another origin story remake. No where as good as the original movie. Terrible effects, rubber monster costumes and lousy cgi seem to set this film back 10 years or more, complete with a cheesy b-side soundtrack. We didn’t need this movie. Or another sequel ...ever again. Please.

Visually this was a blast, and as absurd as most of it was it was nothing short of entertaining from the get-go. You have to ignore all probability of anything making sense, and sink into the fantasy of what was a spectacular display of visual effects. Sure the cast was secondary to the monsters, and the lines were throw away and far from memorable, but for meshing it all together and finding a coherent thread between them was itself secondary. If you’re just in it for the ‘wow’ and ‘awe’ this one delivers.