Eddy Bar

An orgy of plagiarism, jumbled metaphors, half-baked futurism with a cast of oap heroes dragged out of their plastic surgery rehab armchairs to mumble and stumble their way through this nonsensical , confused, confusing epileptic hogwash. With a director and cast as such, i desperately wanted a new "mega" film to love and cherish. This was tosh, expensive self-indulgent hogwash. Bathed in an orangey-glow of navel-gazing direction and vomiting out sub-par Caligula moments , missing authority, realism, power or class. How very un-Roman. I gave it a 1 purely because it would not let me give it the zero it so richly deserves. Worst film of many a year. Apart from one redeeming feature- i wamt to be in Adam Driver's shoes , kissing the very beautiful Nathalie Emmanuel.

Formulaic twaddle. Good idea, badly thought out. Weak acting, hammy dialogue. Stealing the special effects from The Thing. Rhe Substance has literally no substance. Demi Moore needs to put her fake body away. Teenage handy days do not need spoiling watching her put her fillers and silicone out there now.