Chloe Ann Liwanag

This movie was Professor Marmalade’s evil plan all along. Two stars because at least the cast was kinda good. Sam Rockwell had better chemistry with a snake, spider, shark, fish, and fox better than these dorky guinea pigs though.

Okay, this is more of a character rant than a rant on the movie itself, but given that this one character ruined the entire film for me and the fact that people shockingly feel sorry for this character and have been convincing me that this particular character is the only likable character in the film, I have to bring it up. Angie. The film ruiner. I also like to call her "the fish b****". Sure, while Oscar is an unlikable character himself, Angie, imo, is even worse. She started off nice, offering to help Oscar pay off his debt, but over time, the niceness she tries using to her advantage. She basically wants Oscar to notice only her cause "I was the only one who saw you as a somebody!" She gets jealous whenever he tries flirting with other fish, and is basically whiny and annoying. Now, I dunno what people see in this character. But she's a toxic friend and girlfriend. And that is what made me turn off this movie. If you like it, okay, sure. That's fine! I'm not hating on you. I have a friend who considers it a guilty pleasure. Heck, there is one redeeming factor. Lenny. He's the only guy who actually does have an arc and is interesting. But do not watch this film for Angie. Angie is the worst DreamWorks character besides Grimmel (who is just a dumb villain, but an annoyingly dumb villain). Also, Angie looks like the cat girl from Foodfight.

It’s unlikely that people will see this review, or…even care. This movie is about a horribly toxic relationship. Dude pays to get the popular girl, they fake a breakup, and then he sleeps with other girls. She then tries to get him back cause her intelligence was sucked out by the same beings who sucked the intelligence and logic out of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid characters. And good gosh, that scene where she exposes him…like that gives her any sympathy. They are both horrible manipulators and the fact this is a “nostalgic romance movie” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If you want a good teen film in the 80’s, watch Heathers, Breakfast Club, or Ferris Bueller.