Ralph Anderson

Highly-trained assassins in a 'kill team'. Military hardware. A target out in the open at short range. A dozen shooters. Target doesn't even get a scratch. I laughed so hard I cried.

I got as far as the deepfake porn and "let's change the narrative" and burst out laughing and gave up on the whole thing. I'm not sure how this got made. Blumhouse used to produce some really interesting and original stuff. Even the middling fare was still decent. Now they do ... this.

I had high hopes for this one. The premise is straightforward but not really explored. The story is poorly-paced, confusing, and at times just plain ludicrous. The worst of it is the main character, who has zero redeeming qualities and makes every choice an awful choice. I hated everything about her. The other characters exist but have little by way of substance or story. How. How did they take such an easy win and fumble it so badly.

Why do another remake of a classic and rob it of key story elements, characters and any coherent plot? The original works because the attack on Rosemary is subtle and involves conspirators like her husband. She has her own life and her own identity. In this remake, the main character doesn't suffer migraines, she's just a junkie. None of her decisions make sense - it's like she's begging to have her life ruined. And the ending ... please. Somehow the demon child could protect itself from harm the rest of the time but didn't see what was coming, despite it being terribly obvious. The only thing this has in its favour is some gorgeous visuals. That's literally it.

"horror" it is not. It's a drama with some horror elements pasted over the top. Speaking of over the top, that's most of this movie. It was an interesting idea that got increasingly confused as it went - Halloween and the Day of the Dead down under? And I'm not even going to touch the guy in the suit. There was some beautiful imagery, although it got a bit thick on the narrative elements at times. As for the characters, the Main Character (and he very much is in this one) has an accent that is nqr and his sidekick tries too hard to bring Shakespearean when a more raw and authentic voice was needed. There's also a two-dimensional Love Interest who is Unfulfilled and Yearning to help MC find his way; welcome to film school, I guess. Spoilers ahead because I just don't care. In the end, Sidekick is bullied to death and his whole part in the movie is to remind Hero of the duality of man and wasn't it a bit shit that he let his friend get assaulted and possibly worse and then started ignoring him before becoming a bully for years? But that's OK, he has that stupid photo to self-flagellate with while he lives his dream, having escaped the suburbs to live in the big apple. Love Interest is doing whatever and is Fulfilled but who cares because again, she has no character of her own. She's just a prop. As for the kid who was relentlessly bullied and attacked for years - by the way, his mum is dead, that'll get mentioned a few times to force emotional response but who cares, not The Main Character - he's dead. He continues to be dead, none of his bullies see any sort of comeuppance other than some toilet paper and eggs, his mum's grave continues to be defiled by the ridiculous caricature bullies who can't even do that right (trashing his own room? Please. He'd be out for blood) and Main Character will always Feel Bad for him, so fuck him. It was never about him anyway. He just existed to be Victim, making the whole thing an extremely shallow and self-serving piece that may well have been someone trying to feel better about their own past through uncreative expression. What a waste of potential.

If you've ever wondered what happened to the guy behind the Blair Witch Project and why disappeared into obscurity, here it is. A derivative and amatuerish effort that wastes a lot of time to come to a pointless conclusion. Don't be fooled by the paid-for or connected-to reviews gushing about this turd. Sad story of a junkie thinly covered with a supposed supernatural element, not worth your time.

I was hoping for something intriguing and thoughtful. Instead, I watched the movie lurch through increasingly ridiculous and ludicrous contrivances to try and build tension. I gave up at the halfway point when a smart character who did everything right suddenly turned into a dunce and subsequently succumbed to one of the most tired cliches in the book (other than all the "she's off her meds, don't worry") Absolute rubbish, zero stars.

Do you like cliches? Well-worn tropes? Throwing away the main conceit of the story early on for a movie you've already seen a thousand times? If so, then I have a real treat for you. It has a love story and an unhappy teenager and I actually hate this movie so much for being so stupid. It was an interesting idea, with a lot to explore, and it quickly became meaningless. The ending, you don't even need to watch - you know exactly what's going to happen. The same could be said for just about every major beat of the story, too. This should have been a solid viewing experience, could have been if not for hack writing and a complete lack of creativity.

This had no right to be anywhere near as good as it was. The characters were well-played, the story was simple but interesting and there was certainly horror. I personally thought the ending was a bit much; it lingered and dragged just a bit past its welcome and introduced an element (gore) that wasn't present before and which dragged it down. Really quite an achievement with limited resources.

A bizarre production that feels to me like it was assembled off the cutting room floor from other movies. The idea is interesting if unoriginal, and is essentially meaningless - the monster could have been anything for all the difference it made. The performances are average at best. The characters don't make a lot of sense, there's a forced jealousy thing going on because of course there is, and the plot holes are enormous. Every scene brings new bafflement as to how this got made. The ending is particularly galling and nonsensical. All in all, it's just a really strange and really terrible movie. Oh, and it has someone getting possessed by (the monster) apparently but it has no meaning or effect. It seems to just be an excuse to rip-off an infamous scene from The Shining. Of course, said movie can be heard in the background at one point; two extremely freaked out people who just saw some crazy stuff decide to go home and watch The Shining for some reason. OK.