Maham Zulfiqar

THIS IS NOT A SHARK MOVIE. Sharks barely get 20 minutes of screen time. It's a terrible comedy movie (also not funny) cloaked as an action adventure, with terrible acting, slow pacing, absurd action sequences, pathetic CGI, and worst of all - cheesy one liners.

Extremely boring. Music is jarring. Plot is hither thither, like all Anand L Rai movies. Highly unlikeable characters. Couldn’t respect or care for any of em.

This is going to be such fun. Ae Dil Hai Mushkil: A blatant, shameless and patchy rip off of Rockstar. Backing off from that fact, if we seriously consider Ae dil hai mushkil in a world where no Rockstar was ever made, the film's only saving grace would be its music. The songs are also copied by the great Pritam, but can't be too picky now, can we. ADHM is a preach-fest, penned by a man who cannot contain nor conceal his burgeoning love for himself or his creation, Kuch Kuch Hota hai. I imagine there were points where he randomly cycled back into reality and figured he should add a couple of references from other yesteryear movies as well. Oddly enough, the way he referenced these movies didn't even make me feel mild nostalgia. You'd think this movie would at least make you want to revisit old gems. I've enjoyed the fantasy this movie balances itself on too: of having a friend who was just right for me, had a similar taste in Bollywood movies and danced with me. But I WAS IN GRADE 9 BACK THEN. Anushka and Ranbir's characters cheat on their respective partners, yet feel snubbed at the slap back. So they proceed to Paris to randomly sing and dance (yay to childish fantasies). But Ranbir reallllllllly loves Anushka (who yet again decided to make her powerful presence felt by portraying yet another powerful and strong-minded woman in yet another cheesy big budget movie, carried by da people with da big bucks), so he makes sure she knows how he feels. Like, he really loves her so he has to flip her off at her own wedding, which, by the way is with Fawad Khan. Yeah, Anushka and Fawad are madly in love with each other and we know this because they kiss each other's cheeks a lot (thanks for the complete lack of depth, Karan). The rest of the movie is a just a highly childish man trying to get a woman to love him and being highly indignant at the lack of attention she gives him, all the while taking his own girl friend (Aishwarya "stuck cheeks" Rai) for granted. SRK randomly shows up to look cool and act like Naseerudin Shah, for some reason. Ranbir eventually forces a kiss on the cancer ridden Anushka. And I deign not to further comment on this absurdity of a plot.

0/5 - cuz NASA (or its illogical brother from a parallel universe - NSAR) would definitely send a dwarf who can apparently represent humanity very well physiologically and would definitely not lose any muscle mass while he sleeps his way to Mars to test whether or not Mars is a habitable planet. About the great Bauaa Singh: the man survives on self-deprecation. A few jokes at the beginning about his height were fine, but this is by no means a movie that empowers people with disabilities. Bauaa Singh is deplorable. The life trajectory we see is random and essentially, full of meanness. Only in a world where random nonsensical misbehaviour grants you pots of luck will such a person be able to reach Mars. Tyrion Lannister (from Game of Thrones), too, hails from a fantasy world. He, too, through the course of his life suffers due to his lower height. But that man, that character and the actor himself empower this population of people. You see that being big and brawny is not always the key to success or public admiration. Earth has vanquished in that parallel universe because 50 year old men still act downwards of their age and stature to romance women 20-30 years younger than them. Also, these women sign on movies cuz a big Khan is in it, regardless of the absolutely nonsensical script. And nope, there are much better, watchable and most importantly, passionate fairytale-esque movies out there. Different is not always good. And art should not take its audience for granted.