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The Archies - A musical. That's what it is, kind of. It's neither here nor there. Everything that the characters are supposed to signify and be is completely missing so you're left wondering again and again what their role is in the story and how they connect to the original comic book characters, if at all. If the makeup and setting weren't on point, you'd have a hard time telling who's playing who. The art department deserves all the recognition but everyone else just didn't pull through. I can't help but wonder if the title was used with the sole purpose of luring a nostalgic audience into giving the newbies a chance. The story could have been wrapped in 45 minutes and that, I honestly feel, would have given this movie/musical and all the new actors a better shot at winning everyone than the slogfest it ended up being. Even a quick-paced 15-minute TV series with 5-6 episodes would have been better than what was presented.