John Jimbob

If having a bunch of Nintendo references shoved into your face isn't enough to impress you and make you cream yourself with joy, then you will see right through the outer coat of paint into the heart of what this movie actually is: a piece of garbage I don't think the absolutely terrible, terrible scriptwriting should be given a pass just because "oh it's a kids movie!" Or "didn't you like all the Nintendo references!!??" Believe it or not, seeing a reference I recognize dosent net me any positive points for this film. What would net positive points would be if the movie was funny, interesting, well written, has an semblance of a plot, literally anything. The film has nothing outside of soulless reference humor. The plot is literally just things happening with no regard to structure. Mario shows up in the mushroom kingdom and meets peach just because...that's what's supposed to happen. Then they go and race Mario carts on rainbow road for literally no reason, go and see donkey Kong for literally no reason, and then go and fight Bowser because, well, what else would Mario do? The scenes schizophrenicly jump from plot point to plot point as the movie literally stumbles over itself to shove yet another reference into your face with no regard to how any of it actually forms a coherent movie. The dialogue is HORRIBLE. Probably the worst part of the movie. The only character that is halfway bearable to watch is Bowser, his scenes are actually somewhat funny, but they make up less than 10% of the movie. Peach is the worst offender, I've never seen a more poorly written character in my life. She has zero flaws , does everything the plot needs her to do, and then just stares blanked eyed at the screens and delivers the most obvious line imaginable at every turn. I kept waiting for them to reveal that her whole character was a joke and she wasn't actually that bland and boring and flat, and she was gonna break our and have an actual emotional scene where she said literally ANYTHING relevant, nope, that's actually just how they wrote her character. A big pile of concentrated nothingness. Mario isn't much better. The kind of people that like this movie are the type that will go "LOOK, THAT IS A REFERENCE TO WORLD 1-1 OF THE FIRST MARIO GAME, ARE YOU NOT IMPRESSED!!!" Well no, frankly, I'm not.