Cindia Luz Reine

Vince was the sole carer for his wife Margaret for 6 years before she went into a nursing home. His story challenged my pre-presentation thoughts about the role of a carer in unexpected ways, due to his depth of emotional articulation, and transparency. First, I found the description of his psychological flexibility, and the leverage he got out of his personal mission statement to be profoundly intelligent, polarised by the guilt he felt when he thought he could have done better. Second, I was deeply moved when he described the introduction Margaret made between Vince and her reflection, and Vince’s acceptance of her friend being a turning point in his assessment of her dignity. He realised that he must accept her life, after which he would even stop in the shopping centre with her to talk to her friend. Finally, I found it extremely resourceful, and protective when he described himself taking walks in the garden whilst Margaret had screaming fits on the toilet, so as the neighbours could see it wasn’t him hurting her. What I learned in this context was how crucial it is to educate carers, and guide them to the resources they need