Chris Lloyd

Verily, good people, dost thou truly resort to naught but copying and pasting another’s words? Such mimicry, I say, is naught but poor sport. Nevertheless, I shall not stoop to such a deed as to repeat what hath already been penned. This film, I tell thee, is but a travesty. Upon first glance, I thought it naught but jests woven for mirth, yet I stand shamed, brethren. Indeed, I deem this work worthy of *no* stars. Dame Julia Roberts alone didst bring any semblance of truth to her role. Thus, I proclaim: Loathsome is this tale! Were it within my power to bestow a voided rating, I would, and without delay. Some might counsel that certain figures should ne'er stray from politics; yet, alas, I cannot utter such counsel here. Still, another’s review doth encompass my thoughts most fittingly: “Zero stars should be a choice!” Forsooth, an apt summation, shared and resonated by many. Behold, here is the crux: if thou wouldst use thy time wisely, flee from this film as one would the pestilence itself! But if thou dost revel in tales bereft of purpose, then partake freely, for this film is naught but a monument to folly and ill-composed wretchedness. The initial warning? Nay, it is seen the moment one finds the Obamas seated as executive minds behind this piece. This tale doth twist and turn until one is beset with questions and void of answers. Lo, from a peaceful beach gathering to a shadowed home assault, from planes falling from the heavens to beasts in migration without reason. A son poisoned, yet untouched is his family! Racial strife and chaos run amok without thought. The characters themselves are but hollow shells, turning upon each other when, in truth, such trials would unite their spirits. Worst amongst them is a maid called Ruth, whose tongue wags with bitterness and disdain for her kin and suspicion for all others, most peculiarly those of fairer complexion. In her own words, she doth prattle, “Trust should not be given to anyone, least of all those fair-skinned!” An utterance without meaning or place within this tale, yet there it stands. Aye, should her name “Ruth” not mean “ruthless”? And behold, we find ourselves lost in this tale's supposed menace – the act of “terror.” The perpetrators? Ambiguous at best! From an eastern land it seems, yet just as swiftly shifts to realms far different, leaving one’s mind unmoored. Wherefore art the forces that defend the land? Hath they vanished into air? Forsooth, one can only wonder. In sum, 'tis an affront to sense and taste, a performance of folly beyond measure. At least, in the midst of all this ruin, the daughter found time to watch her beloved Friends till the bitter end, caring naught for her family. Indeed, an unseemly jest it seems, but thus is the state of this sorry tale. If there were any lower measure than a single star, verily it would be well deserved. A mummer’s farce, and naught more.

Simply one of the best games made. Not for everyone, but to give this game anything less than 3 stars is just criminally stupid. The people who rate it low either don't get it, or can't see past their own interests enough to see how well this game is made. Plus, rating a game without finishing it is just asinine.