Sam G

If I could give The Substance zero stars, I would. This movie is an overblown, absurd fever dream that fails on nearly every level—an incoherent mix of body horror, vain attempts at social commentary, and a plot that spirals into total nonsense. What starts as an aging star’s search for youth quickly devolves into a disgusting mess that’s neither thought-provoking nor entertaining. Visually, the movie looks polished, but style over substance is all it is (ironic, given the title). There’s this constant sense that it’s trying to be edgy and avant-garde, but it comes off as ostentatious and boring. For a film that’s marketed as original and boundary-pushing, it’s shockingly derivative. Even the gore, which is apparently supposed to shock, feels juvenile and excessive, more like a low-budget horror flick than a commentary on Hollywood’s age obsession. It’s gross, but not in a way that adds anything meaningful to the story. It’s just there for shock value, and it doesn’t land. Ultimately, The Substance is a perfect example of what happens when a film tries too hard to be edgy and ends up a chaotic mess. It’s pretentious, disgusting, and frankly, a waste of time. Avoid this one at all costs—your brain and your stomach will thank you.