Honestly, read it for yourself and see how you feel about it. The book teaches how to build a wonderful and healthy relationship with your child and how to proactively train your child before the need to discipline arises. It does not condone child abuse, it specifically denounces it. You will see that once you read the book. I would not listen to the negative reviews, because the majority of them are misleading and based on misconceptions. My brothers and I were all raised on the principles this book describes, and we do not fear or hate our parents at all. Please give this book a chance! It really does give good advice in raising happy, successful children.