Richard Glendenning

Comically bad and terribly cheesy in parts. Having George Doors from Shooting Stars as a fairly substantial roll is weird. Neilson puts in an awful hammy performance aided by terrible lines and ott crying. It looks like that overly graded film 300. It verges on sci-fi/old, cheesy James Bond at times with CGI alien monkeys and a pool full of sharks (yes CGI, shock, horror). I thought we’d get aliens with laser beams at one point which only serve to make one reminisce. It constantly utilises clips of the old original. You can tell this film is 20 years in the making and designed by a super-committee. Also there are moments like when a fly is on the lens and no one thought to retake. Or when our grand fromage Dane is talking and no one noticed the camera fall out of focus. It has its moments of good but they’re duct tape on a ship full on cannon holes. Shot in too few days with too much money. A great comedy, but not a great film.

This film deserves better reviews. It seems to really divide people. But in my experience that's better than something vanilla and Spielberg-esque and crowd-pleasing. It's stunning. Well-written and acted. The storyline doesn't give you the usual Hollywood hero and obvious ending. It's PTSD-inducing. It's so real. It might be real if a certain orange-faced criminal gets back in. The music is so good. Again, unexpected. Sometimes weird and sometime juxtaposed to the visuals. The shots, still and moving are gritty and feel exactly like those of the best war photographers without being polished and stylised like Dune or similar. This is not for the weak-hearted or those of a nervous disposition. But f-me, it's good. Just hope it doesn't become a reality.