Anthony Mo

Oh, MindsEye. Where do I even begin? If you're looking for a game that actively tries to make you question your life choices, then congratulations, you've found it! This isn't just a bad game; it's a masterclass in mediocrity, a true testament to what happens when ambition meets, well, absolutely nothing. Let's start with the graphics, which appear to have been rendered on a potato – and a rather sad, bruised potato at that. The visuals are so muddy and uninspired, you'll be convinced your monitor is secretly trying to filter out any semblance of joy from your gaming experience. But don't worry, any aesthetic shortcomings are quickly overshadowed by the framerate, which I can only describe as a frantic slideshow. It's less a smooth gameplay experience and more a series of disjointed still images, leaving you wondering if you're playing a game or watching a flipbook made by a particularly clumsy toddler. The missions themselves are a bizarre fever dream. I’m not sure if the developers were aiming for avant-garde or just completely lost, but each objective feels like it was pulled from a hat containing only the strangest, most illogical suggestions. And don't even get me started on the movement. It's like the protagonist is encased in concrete, slowly dragging themselves across the landscape with the grace of a brick. Seriously, "from the day before yesterday" is an understatement; this movement system feels like it predates the invention of the wheel. And the voice acting? Bless their hearts, they tried. But "not very good" is a generous understatement. It's the kind of voice work that makes you instinctively reach for the mute button, preferring the sweet embrace of silence over the awkward, often toneless delivery. Adding to the immersive nightmare is the delightful phenomenon of objects loading in right in front of your face. Nothing quite says "cutting-edge gaming" like watching a tree pop into existence 10 feet away from you. It truly shatters any illusion that you're in a living, breathing world. Finally, the gunplay. Oh, the gunplay. It's so mind-numbingly boring it makes watching paint dry feel like a high-octane thrill ride. Every shot feels like a puff of air, every enemy a lifeless target. There's no weight, no impact, just a repetitive thwack that will lull you into a state of utter apathy. In conclusion, MindsEye is a phenomenal achievement in how many ways a game can miss the mark. If you're looking for a truly awful gaming experience that will provide endless laughs (mostly at its expense), then by all means, dive into the abyss. Just don't say I didn't warn you. Oh I played on Xbox series X just in case y'all get a copy.