Kanguva Review:
1. Director Siva (in his mind): Let me make a high budget movie!
2. Producer Gnanavel: I want this movie to collect 1000 crores.
3. Siva: Ok. I will make a period film with action, fantasy adventure, tribes and VFX. Oh wait, violence is the new norm. I will give machete. Slashing, chopping etc.
4. Gnanavel: I am in. Let’s do it.
5. Siva: Let’s pick Surya who has tremendous talent and can emote well.
6. Gnanavel: We need to make pan India movie.
7. Siva: Ok. I will ask Bobby Deol and Disha Patani who represent Bollywood. Deal signed.
8. Gnanavel: We need a unique movie.
9. Siva: No one has done a scream fest. We should be the first.
10. Gnanavel: Scream fest?
11. Siva: I will put sound amplifiers for all actors. If normal voice is 55 decibels, it will be 70 decibels for most of the movie. I will ask most actors to scream 50% of the time.
12. Gnanavel: Wow! But we need a good musician with strong BGM. How about A.R.Rahman or Anirudh?
13. Siva: No. Devi Sri Prasad (DSP) has given many hits to Surya. Let’s go with him.
14. DSP: If everyone screams, my music won’t be heard. I will amplify BGM to 80 decibels. My music should win!
15. Siva and Gnanavel: Amazing. Let’s do this and give audience a scream and loud music feast as Deepavali feast is done.
16. Gnanavel: What about story?
17. Siva: We will show current era and 1000 years back. I will spend most money on good vfx, cinematography, cool crocodile fight and use forest things to attack.
18. Gnanavel: Oh wait. Will it have strong plot with emotions?
19. Siva: I will bring a teenager and make some connection with current and past.
20. Gnanavel: Ok. Will you show current era?
21. Siva: Yes. First 30 minutes, I want audience to think what the heck is happening and they should have zero clue.
22. Gnanavel: Super. What about fights?
23. Siva: Yes. We will give audience multiple fights from beginning to end where age 12+ (boy, girl, man, women), and even wild life will get a chance. And bring in a new character at the end.
24. Gnanavel: Super cool and I am loving it. Will there be part 2 so we can give more fun to audience?
25. Siva: Definitely, and so is the intro of new character. I want another 650 crores for part 2, so movie total budget for both parts will be 1000 crores as promised earlier 😉 (refer #2).