Michaela Morton

Imagine making a cup of tea 96 times with the same tea bag. Well that's how weak this storyline is. Then throw in Nicholas Cage doing his best elderly Marilyn Manson impression, whilst using the Devil as a poor motive for everything that happens. Be as confused as I was as to why a qualified medical practitioner appears to be carrying out an autopsy on a handmade doll. The only thing that I came away with from this film, is to make sure that I never let a random nun into my house who told me I'd won a competition. I saw a late showing of this. I wish I'd stayed at home with a biscuit.

Imagine stepping into Narnia and seeing Mr Tumnus trotting towards you with his parcels. Instead of inviting you back to his cave for tea and crumpets, he just looks at you and urinates in the snow. This is how The Crow 2024 made me feel. Soulless.