Mark West

The unauthorised story of the early days of The Killers from Las Vegas to Hot Fuss. Originally published in 2006, Keene is a Las Vegas reporter who not only wrote about The Killers before they hit the big time, but actually played in a band with Ronnie Vannucci, jnr. This, then, is his take on the formation of the band (not a great deal of detail), how they set about conquering the local music scene (a bit more detail) and then what happened afterwards (virtually no detail at all). The promised “never before seen” photographs aren’t bad, but most aren’t in focus and seem to come from two or three gigs, so there’s quite a bit of repetition. Speaking of which, it appears that over the 125 pages of text (and there’s a LOT of white space), Keene wasn’t edited too thoroughly - it’s mentioned at least three times that Ted Sablay is a musical genius who can quickly pick up any instrument straight away. I’m a Killers fan, I love the band and I’ve read the excellent “Days & Ages” bio by Mark Beaumont, but I struggled to understand what this book was trying to do. For Killers completists, it might make an interesting read, but if you want to know more about the band, go for the Beaumont book.

It begins with dull pain. It hits all the nerves until it reaches the brain. Then come the uncontrollable convulsions. Finally, gratefully comes merciful death. Very expensive on the 2nd hand market, I managed to pick up a beaten-up copy for a price that didn’t make me weep, because I was really keen to read this. As a kid in the 70s, I very much remember the fear that rabies would come to the UK - the posters described in the book, the adverts with lone dogs wandering the street - and I was looking forward to seeing this as a horror novel. Which, sadly, this isn’t, really. Although it does have a few gruesome moments (and a wonderful sequence with a rabid pony!), it reads more like a very melodramatic drama - Lambert Diggery is a civil servant being serviced by a prostitute in Brussels and blackmailed into making deliveries (which is never explored or explained) and, whilst on holiday, his young daughter manages to bring home a rabid dog without anyone (at all!) realising. Said dog escapes and starts biting its way around the county. Ace reporter Andrew Stern is quickly on the case and involves his new girlfriend Dorothy and a local stringer (the only death where I felt sorry for the character). Characterisation is broadbrush (if there’s any at all), there’s little sense of location, the various rabies incidences pop up and leave quickly and the supporting cast is the kind where they’re quickly wheeled on to deliver their piece and then carted off, never to be seen again. On the plus side, it does capture the paranoia of the time and it’s very British. An unfortunate misfire, then, but to be fair, that might be because I was expecting a horror novel, rather than this being pedestrian and a little overlong.

It was the ultimate in hijacking - Russia's super-secret new jet, stolen from a New York airport, whisked from under the noses of the guards and hidden- where? Nobody knew who had master-minded the plan, but Russia knew who to blame, and if they didn't get a satisfactory answer from the United States the missiles would take off. I’ve picked up a few Nick Carter novels over the years (who can resist a pulp paperback for 10p from a charity shop) but decided to start with this one, apparently written by George Snyder. I’m glad I did because it does exactly what you want it to. Well written, told at a cracking pace, with nice amounts of violence and smut, the story didn’t make a whole lot of sense but the characters were great (Nick is like an amped up James Bond and Julie Baron (his on-off ‘squeeze’ and fellow agent) and the structure worked superbly. Economic, always entertaining, I can see myself delving further into this series. If pulp paperbacks are your thing, I’d very much recommend it.

When Tuck Pendleton, a cocky pilot, undergoes a miniaturisation experiment, a chip is stolen that will help return him to normal size. His scientist friend is pursued and killed, but not before injecting Tuck and his craft into a hypochondriac supermarket worker, called Jack Putter. With his own health anxieties already plaguing him, Jack has to get away from the baddies and figure out how to get Tuck out, before the pilots air supply runs out. A good natured and fast paced adventure, based very closely on the 1987 Joe Dante film, this works really well. There’s enough characterisation to like the main players - I particularly liked Dr Canker, one of the villains, who clearly revels in her sexuality - and while some of the visual humour from the film doesn’t translate to the page, it all hangs together nice and, at only 140 pages, it properly rattles along. Good fun and it’s made me want to watch the film again!

For newlywed Stella, her dream honeymoon has turned into a nightmare overnight because her perfect husband, Austin, has vanished without a trace. Alone in Venice, she frantically searches for him but as fear turns into confusion, she finds herself questioning everything she knows about the man she married. Has he really abandoned her, or has someone from his past finally caught up with him—the business partner he threatened to sue? The obsessive ex-girlfriend who refuses to let go? When Stella becomes convinced someone is following her, panic sets in. I bought this on the strength of the premise, which is excellent and it does, indeed, start well. Stella is a good character, there’s intrigue with the supporting cast, Austin felt to me like a bit of an arse, but her concern for him when he went missing felt genuine. And that’s where, for me, the problem lay. The book follows Stella, increasingly panicked and fearful for her husband, as she searches Venice and tries to piece everything together. So - SPOILER ALERT - when we get to the final twist, in this first person narrated novel, it doesn’t make any sense. I enjoy an unreliable narrator, I enjoy a character throwing everyone off the scent, but we get all of Stella’s thoughts, so is she gaslighting herself all the way through? For me, that final reveal wiped out all the good work the rest of the novel had set up (and it was a good read), so I wasn’t satisfied at all.

Alex, Joel, Laura and Melanie are part of a group of American students arriving in Paris to spend a year studying at the Institute of French Studies, run by by Madame Catherine Tessier and her husband Monsieur Tessier. Laura spends much of her time alone, visiting museums and art galleries and regularly sending postcards to her boyfriend back home. Alex is more interested in love and becomes involved with Madame Tessier. Melanie takes advantage of everything, while Joel struggles with indecisiveness until he falls for Toni, a local bookstore employee. A novelisation of a 1979 film I’ve never seen (but which was written by Willard Huyck & Gloria Katz, which is pedigree enough for me), I picked this up by chance and I’m so glad I did. Briskly written, we only really get to know Alex, Joel and Laura, but they’re good, rounded characters who we can empathise with. I also felt for Madame Tessier, a lady let down by so much in her life. There’s some melancholy, some comedy, but overall there’s a sense of being twenty years old in Paris in the late 70s and finding love. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would very much recommend it.

'Can books conduct electricity?' 'My children are just climbing your bookshelves: that's ok... isn't it?' A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops" blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. A quick and easy read - 114 pages, a good few illustrations by the Brothers Mcleod - this is amusing and frustrating in equal measure and, also, often depressing, with the distinct lack of knowledge displayed by the public. I enjoyed it.

A Futura paperback from 1981 (though the book itself is set in 1985, for no real reason I could determine), this has yuppie couple Clay and Holly Ryan escaping New York (they’re fed up with city life, then she gets attacked and that makes up their minds for them) and re-locating to Credence, a small town in West Virginia on the recommendation of an acquaintance. It’s a quaint little town but nobody seems to be older than fifty, everyone’s worried about getting hurt and there are only six children there. Then the Clays meet Willis and Karen Unger and their quick friendship takes a sour note when Karen finds herself pregnant which should, in the circumstances, be impossible. This slim novel reminded me, at the start, of “Dead & Buried” (you know something’s wrong, you just can’t figure out what it is), though it takes a turn away from that and becomes all the more enjoyable because of it. Clay and Holly are a great couple, as are the Unger’s and Salem creates a wonderful atmosphere for the town and those inhabitants we meet, including the good Dr Fullwood. There are winding sense of tension, a bit of suspense, a little bit of gore, some humour and a gathering darkness that leads to a rip-roaring denouement. Great fun, this does exactly what an early 80s horror paperback original should do - it rips along, making you care about the people and grimace at the horror and entertains thoroughly. A cracking read, I very much recommend it.

Book 36 of the Coronet series, this is taken from “You’re You, Charlie Brown vol 1” and was published in 1973, featuring strips from 1967 through to 1968. Again, earlier in the run than I’d normally read, so Woodstock only appears once (in a terrific “Be kind to animals” strip), but there was plenty of good stuff here. My highlights include Snoopy’s happy dance in snow, saying “hi” to Dad, Beagles are French - “Oui”, Lucy’s crab-in, Valentines woes (and a lot about the red-headed girl), Snoopy at Augusta, Snoopy and Linus’ blanket, the baseball team (including Snoopy as manager, with a fresh way to reprimand people). Almost completely focussed on Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus and Snoopy, with cameo’s from Sally and Schroeder, this is great fun, with some laugh out loud jokes and a strong thread of melancholy running through the whole book, which was wonderful. Great fun, this is a terrific read and a much needed blast of nostalgia, which I recommend wholeheartedly.

Helen Summer is on a train, going to see her sister Jill with some terrible news. Another passenger is Kerm, a doctor, on his way home from his grandfather’s funeral. When a load of schoolkids get on, including Innocent, Blessing and Comfort (three black youths who are ready for trouble), things take a turn for the worse. This is a terrible book, it really is, as if the Quick Reads people had asked Priya Basil for a story and she sent them a synopsis for a new novel. The writing is often clunky, often patronising in tone and the POV sometimes shifts within the space of a paragraph. Helen’s story has potential to be interesting but like the others, nothing prior to this train ride has any bearing whatsoever on the story, it’s literally just filler. When events escalate - and Kerm is apparently seriously injured - Basil decides that’s a good place to end it. A real waste of time, I couldn’t recommend this to anyone.