Miagrace Dixon

If you have even the slightest love or nostalgic fondness for Jurassic Park, do yourself a favor: protect your peace and do not, under any circumstances, enter a theater that’s showing Jurassic World: Rebirth. In fact, avoid the parking lot. Maybe the entire zip code. This film is not just bad. It’s a catastrophic betrayal of a legacy. A flaming meteor of incompetence crashing into the soul of one of the most iconic franchises in cinematic history. It manages to somehow be boring, ridiculous, and insulting all at once. a rare trifecta of failure. The plot? Nonexistent. The dialogue? Feels like it was written by a malfunctioning AI trained on discarded Fast & Furious scripts. The dinosaurs? I’ve seen more convincing creatures at a third grader’s science fair. And the characters? Less personality than the animatronic raptors at Universal Studios. It’s as if the director actively hates Jurassic Park and made it his personal mission to smear every memory we hold dear. Honestly, he should sue himself for slandering the franchise. I walked out of the theater feeling like I needed to write Spielberg an apology letter on behalf of the studio. If this movie had been released in 1993, the franchise would’ve ended before it began and we’d be better off. Final verdict: If you’re considering watching this, don’t. Watch paint dry. Stare at a wall. Rethink your life choices. But whatever you do, don’t watch this cinematic crime scene.